Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
tishtashbat 16
Why the **** would you want to sleep with someone you have to harass until she finally gives in?? 'Wahoo! She clearly wasn't interested but I persisted and she finally gave in!' - how can people think like this?? I'm baffled.
myoukei 31
You sir are a scumbag on the same level as OP.
katie_xoxo3 16
You're a jerk, I hope you're not looking for sympathy because YDI
DirtyCharmed 10
If even you say she "finally gave in" then you deserve every bit of that and more.
TheLadyOpal 30
You know, judging by the wording of the FML, I almost have to wonder if this is just something OP made up to watch us all flip out. I'm not saying things like this don't happen, but no sane person would actually post about it and honestly expect sympathy.
Xalandra 17
Actually, guys expect sympathy all the time when they get rejected by a girl.
Heathtastic 10
OP you're a douche nozzle. Learn some respect and maybe you won't have to harass women YDI.
mrsnugglefunny 10
Your one sick ****
darthsinistar 7
'Finally gave in'? Christ, man, she's a woman, not a large mouth bass!
doodlebug33 20
Look on the bright side, you still have Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters
thunderniron 22
Good for her. Her parents raised her right.