Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
grrhelpme 12
Sounds like girlfriend material
myoukei 31
She is girlfriend material, she's just way above OP's leauge.
Norris_FTW_77 9
If anything the girl should be posting, "So I went to this bar last night. Totally just wanted to have some drinks, talk to my friends, and dance. Wasn't looking to pick up a guy at all. Didn't even shave my legs. Then some a-hole started hitting on me, wouldn't take no for an answer for hours, and completely ruined my night. I finally had to trick him into giving me his phone so I could call his Mom and tell on him to get him to leave me alone. FML" In other words...YDI. I'll keep my eyes open for her post.
incoherentrmblr 22
I expect that post to be on here.
lalaney 14
I don't really buy it that women go to clubs just to drink with their friends and dance. I think they want attention and or sex, which is TOTALLY OKAY. They shouldn't be shamed into lying that they don't want sex. I know women that talk about not shaving their legs BECAUSE they want to sleep with a man but do this to stop themselves. Ladies, speaking as one, it's okay to like sex and to initiate it with people who you like. Be discerning and smart, but go for it. Don't let society tell you you're a ****.
jadefire15 17
Oh no, women can't go to clubs to have fun, they all want sex! Seriously dude, are you an idiot?! Some of your comment was good but SERIOUSLY?! Why can't people assume that women go out to enjoy themselves?! Because we have the ability to do that you know!
Ksweety_fml 27
Well, you deserve it for trying to get inside her panties!.
rikkidi 20
YDI. Her move was smart though haha
morningwood4521 8
I think you laid it on there a tincy bit pal
steffidallasbfl 16
Wow you're a disgusting pig. Learn to respect women
ClumsyKee 14
Having your name set to "not getting laid" sounds so self-entitled. You may have pity for yourself but let me assure you, none of US feel bad for you. Never pressure and disrespect someone like that. From the way you worded everything, I wouldn't be surprised at all that you legitimately harassed her.
drshn 22
Well said lady
Misshhh 23
Op, you DEFINITELY deserved what you got. I don't care if it's been a long time since you've gotten any sex but never disrespect a woman by talking her down just to get her number and sleep with her once and then never see her again. No one has ever said you have to present yourself as an idiot just to get laid. Shame on you and I hope your mom knows the type of son she raised -_-
LanceGoodthrust 19
Am I the only one who wants to hear what choice pickup lines this guy was using that got her to "give in?"
BriCx 8
That sounds genius. I wish I could give that girl a high five. YDI for being so pushy OP.