Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML
Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
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Top comments
Miller_Time 0
See, that's just really, really awkward. Like in the way you never want anything to be.
Shadic 0
Why'd he answer the phone?
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Comments (91)
Miller_Time 0
See, that's just really, really awkward. Like in the way you never want anything to be.
Shadic 0
Why'd he answer the phone?
ArrowHuntress 8
Because his mother was calling and you NEVER ignore a call from your mother. Not unless you have a death wish.
HotAsIce99 0
he must be really fug
popapricot 0
I wonder how that went...
z_vet 0
If he such a jerk that he stop having sex to answer the phone no wonder his mom don't believe him.
watchnlearn 0
ditto for #6, i mean he sounds pretty weird if he picks up his phone for his MOM during SEX...please tell me you stopped after that?
Jasper_fml 0
so, you were with him and he answered the phone? wtf.
adelaide_evening 0
Have you ever seen the movie Teeth? She chopped off a guy's dick with her ****** dentata when he tried that.
IsntThisAwkward 0
I wish I had teeth in my ****** after seeing that movie.
nomadxx7 0
Yeah agree with #6. Finish having sex and then call back your mom. Make up some BS excuse if you have to. Honestly for the stories about BFs stopping having sex WTF is wrong with them? Hell when I get sex I try to savor all of it. WTF would I want to stop getting pleasure to hear stories from my mom? The only justifiable reason would be if mom kept calling constantly regarding an emergency (death in the family, etc), but honestly how often does that happen?
bizzles 0
"oh hey mom, no i'm not busy!"