Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML
Today, I found out my grandmother passed away. When I told my boyfriend I began to cry. Instead of caring, he said "you're getting my bed wet," rolled over, and fell asleep. FML
Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML
Today, after my wife and mother in law criticized me for being glued to my phone, I set out to prove them wrong by being away from it. When I finally opened it, my family was upset because my grandma died and they had been trying to reach me for several hours. FML
Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML
Today, my grandma, who was placed in a hospice a few months ago, started to decline in health and passed away, The day before she died I thought my girlfriend was so sweet because she took a leading role in her care, just to find out she didn’t care about her at all. It was just an act to steal her pain medication. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, my grandma is refusing to talk to me because I didn't answer her phone calls while we were at a parade. I was in it. FML
Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AznShadowWc 9
If she can't respect your family, dump her ass
bgdkmcgee 10
I'd fire her.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
bgdkmcgee 10
I'd fire her.
tiernang 21
shes a girlfriend, not an employee.
Bloink 25
Out of a cannon.
lovethenumber13 14
Into an bottomless pit of fire
TheCanucklehead 22
On Friday the 13th
tranced_ 45
or whenever convenient
s13495 19
put her out with vinegar?
duma191 21
i like it.
efettes 19
And then roll her in salt for good measure >:)
NightHawk387 22
That was brilliant.
gloriabrose 9
at this day and age? when was it any different? people used to marry for the good of the community not even out of love. I personally think we've come a long way
MrsDruidess 23
Dump her insensitive, self-centered bitch ass!!!
gotaplanstan 28
Fire her ass True Lies style.
Googolman 29
27 - OP would have to wait until December 13 to do that. Seems counterproductive.
sharonasaur 17
someone explain this to me I don't get it lol
imlifeless2 25
can someone get me coordinates for an incendiary air strike on that insensitive piece of shit? I wanna help out OP.
FimogenFeels 14
Break up* she doesn't work for him.
tiernang 21
187, i already said that. but on the internet, the popular vote is the way it is. just follow everybody else and leave me here to be ****** over by downvotes.
JtPv 14
Can I contribute? The Brazen Bull seems fitting.
AznShadowWc 9
If she can't respect your family, dump her ass
michaelaranda 28
in todays world, staying connected is more important than family.
thehumanlyhuman 7
Why downvote 23? I'm pretty sure it was sarcasm. Lighten up, FML community!
AngelSpit 18
or it could just be an observation and not a personal opinion. The world doesn't revolve around sarcasm ya know.
tranced_ 45
sorry for your loss OP.. R.I.P grandma
jesustitts 20
Sorry for your loss. OP. You definitely need to end this relationship and find someone who is a little more respectful of your feelings and your family.
solarrunner 16
#23 - Bullshit.
elizabeth713 8
You mean your ex-girlfriend, right?
squidgy787 22
Normally I hate the "you mean ex" comments. In this case, however, I feel it's totally spot on. OP if you don't dump this egocentric sperm receptacle, you deserve all the misery that comes to pass from this horrid relationship.
jensen21 19
I love that you used "sperm receptacle." I may borrow the term for later use.
bgdkmcgee 10
I think the proper term is cum dumpster.
kyu_Q 19
but sperm receptacle is much better
Peachy2392 26
You can do better than her, OP.
birdfreak 24
That was so uncalled for. I understand why you'd want to hole yourself up. Sorry for your loss, OP
CelticReverie 5
Your girlfriend is a horrible waste of human flesh
Grayness_ 26
She just doesn't care if someone dies. Is not waste of human flesh. But she could have been nicer about it.
Kataclysm97 32
I don't think there is a nice way to say "I don't care that one of your family members died." OP's girlfriend is a boil-ridden anus.
Golden_Rydes 3
Failed haiku?
CelticReverie 5
@Grayness really? Do you even realize the gravity of what she has done? 1. she got angry at OP for being offline all day, indicating that he should have been paying attention to her 2. even after learning of the death of OP's grandma, did her actions imply dat OP paying attention to her was more important than the death of one of OP's loved ones 3. the worst thing about this FML is that she could not understand the grieving OP was doing, she could not understand why he was doing it, thus implying that OP himself should have been as indifferent to his grandma's death as she is. I ask you again: really? This is not just about the death of OP's loved one. It's also about not respecting OP enough to understand that he, unlike her, grieves for such a person. But hey, that's just my opinion. So whatever, yeah
myoukei 31
@celtic: Don't worry, rotten people like grayness an OP's girlfriend deserve one another. Us kindhearted folk don't need scum like them on the market.
raayaq 4
She's a bitch, u need to dump her.
ruckfules85 34
This may be the worst FML I will ever read. That selfish Bitch.
lionheart822 13
You clearly must be new to the FML community. There are some really messed up FMLs that have been posted. That's not to say this one isn't up there as well, just brace yourself cause there are much worse.
SkyGuy32 17
I've been reading FMLs for over a year and this is definitely one of the worst.
Bloink 25
What were you doing holed up in your room without using the internet? (Because you said you were offline)
Welshite 40
Probably overcome by the death of his grandmother. The internet isn't a way of life, you know.
ilovesarcasm 18
Mourning the loss of his grandmother.
Bloink 25
Wow, I feel dumb
Bloink 25
Oh and usually when ppl are holed up in their rooms it's because they are on the internet
musiciangirl591 16
sometimes people need time alone, internet isn't so good when you're grieving
Faff 20
The internet isn't a way of life?? speak for yourself!
ilovesarcasm 18
So sorry about your loss, OP. Start to rethink your relationship status, but only after you've taken the time to cope with the emotional impact of loss. Until then, this can wait. Hopefully she'll go away on her own, the superficial bitch.