Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML
Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML
Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, I texted my friend’s mom, asking if she could send over my hoodie that I left at their house. Except I didn’t text her, I texted my ex’s mom, who said, “You should probably stop texting me. She’s engaged now.” FML
Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
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Top comments
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Resistance is futile.
lmaouloser 5
Run Bro.
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Comments (218)
awesomeo96 4
First
Justin0481 5
Why
iNewKid 20
Damn Stalker Alert! Stalk her back 2 times worse and maybe it drives her crazy to the point she can't handle anything anymore and jumps off a bridge. Problem solved
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Resistance is futile.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Her favorite movie is probably 'Fatal Attraction'.
Futacy 30
30- attention ***** much?
_Oblivion_ 12
Tell her to **** off
ambowew 7
Still a better love story than twilight.
NzaHaFML 13
Op should put her number on a flier as "adult phone services" and post it up in different public places. She'll get the attention she needs.
hopsinlove17 26
She climbin in yo window, she snatchin yo people upO.O
JackeeDawn 9
OP, I really do feel you on this one. This boy in my weight training class asked you use my phone to call his "mom" he didn't call his mom. He texted himself using my phone and now he texts me all the time regardless of how much I ignore him. .-. You should change your number OP, I can because it costs 20$ and my phone company makes us wait till our bills are due.
b00ms 1
Or, "obsessed"
starman02 12
98- I see your name, I see your comment and all I can think about is how you make fun of people with acne by calling them pepperoni face.
loopsy_fml 14
U know what this reminds me of? An episode of Disney Channel's Jessie. Creepy Connie. She wound up going to jail.
Tylerdre 6
Mirai nikki anyone xD
GypsyRover 0
That was happening to me once. I called the police. She call again when the cop was taking report,and I had the cop answer my phone. Lol.
JackeeDawn 9
Lol @132 :) I am pretty sure you have made fun of someone else's flaw before. A picture of a meme on Facebook, a picture of a fat guy, a person you hate. We are all humans here and we just think flaws are funny. Don't think your some high jolly person that's never once in their life laughed at someone else. :-) don't be singling me out for laughing at funny things when I see them. And FYI, the kid we call it is okay with it. He told us that he wants to come up with a nickname for us too:) stop mixing fml comments together and enjoy the ******* app with out being a butthurt moral ******.
JackeeDawn 9
Lol @ 132. You are trying to be rude to me for making a joke. I bet you have made fun of someone before. Don't act all innocent. We have all made fun of someone before. That includes laughing at someone else making fun of a person. That FML was like days ago and you bring it to a new funnier FML? Someone is drama seeking.
iiAntheA17 7
132- Someone a bit full of themselves? By reading your bio, I would understand why people don't like you. I don't care if this gets thumbed down, but you're a complete bitch.
bondgirl69 5
Not just a complete bitch, but completely stupid
JackeeDawn 9
:) I am a bitch you guys. Although I am far from stupid, here we go again pointing at someones flaws and making fun of them 132. See everyone does it.
lmaouloser 5
Run Bro.
LaughinStock 16
Where to, she will only find him. :( Lose all hope Op and give in muwahahahahha!!
perdix 31
#4, she'll love that! Huntresses live for the chase. She'll be all hot and sweaty when she finally runs you down, so the sex will be that much hotter. Rawr!
SweetAsHell 9
He can run, but he can't hide. I'm sure she has put a tracker in him while he was sleeping by now. That's how she installed all the (supposed) cameras in his room as well. Creepy girl is always watching.
heygirlie777 21
What if OP is a girl...?
thgiL 9
66 - even hotter
SweetAsHell 9
66- Then the same thing applies except with different pronouns? Why would the gender matter? Creepy is creepy to anyone being creeped on by creeps, if you know what I'm saying.
gc327072 31
If she was your girlfriend she'd never let you go.
perdix 31
#73, when guys stalk girls, it's about power, not sex. That just ain't right. When girls stalk guys, it's about sex, and that's hot!!
ositoakaluis 16
Nah it's better for him to hit it and quit then she will have something to bitch about on Facebook rendering OP free of psycho bitch
sirsquab 12
Hahaha... Oh God no. You think stalkers accept rejection? She's this creepy and attached to opwho (presumably) has never dated or screwed this girl. Screwing her would make life far, far worse.
Tektite 14
OP could "pretend" to give in and go on a few dates with her, try to scare the bitch away by acting obviously weird and resistible.. And ta da!
flamegrilled123 3
Restraining order?
blcksocks 19
I feel bad for OP but unfortunately it's not that easy to get a restraining order against someone just for "looking".
onlychildFTW 34
A restraining order would be perfect for this situation. 200 feet.
icrest80 4
Stage 5 clinger!
rocklare18 7
She seems too friendly
ArielTheMermaid 17
This FML reminded me of the one where the girl said she wasn't at home and the person said "Then who is that sitting in your living room?" OP, time for a restraining order
minisquid 9
As my bathshit friend from drivers ed would say... "Kill her."
callous 2
YDI for giving her your number. Price of pussy.
graffitied_love 20
Maybe someone else gave out their number?
DrDilllonReese 12
The girl probably snuck in while OP was sleeping and texted her phone from his, thus providing here with his number. That's OBVIOUSLY the most likely scenario.
With_Love929 3
^^^seems legit.
ramseytt69 8
I don't think he would've gave her his number.
PhishloverA 14
#6 don't automatically assume OP gave her his number
callous 2
You're right. OP must have been dumb enough to ask her for her number and the situation flipped on him. That's more realistic.
HungerGames95 13
Someone probably have out his number.
sayahiei 7
I seem to remember an FML a few days or so ago where the OPs mother kept giving her new number to the OPs brother after she changes her number.
girlygeek004 8
Oh my god. That is terrible. I feel like you might want to consider a restraining order or calling the cops or something.
FtP_Benihana 0
Or find some unlucky ******* to dump her off too?
Tektite 14
^^^ Best comment!! Lol
SpikyG 3
Is she at least hot?
DanielT1994 19
Sucks for you. Maybe get a restraining order. That really is creepy.
Rddvl 11
Getting a restraining order might help.
SystemofaBlink41 27
I dunno... That might even add more excitement to her chase!
kickass1142 7
You could turn off your phone.
fuzz97 23
That won't make her stop calling him.
toribkeith 3
Yes it will.
CaptTeemo 10
Voice mail!! Still doesn't stop her from staring though
PhishloverA 14
#10 and #82: turning the phone off won't help cause when OP turns it back on there will just be countless texts, missed calls and possibly voicemails. Blocking the number or changing his number would be better
perdix 31
Looks like she's going to have you for dinner -- one way or the other. Submitting to her iron will is the wisest course.
TheDrifter 24
Yup, invite her in and get your freak on. Hell, maybe she'll make dinner, maybe even porkchops. Man I love porkchops.
Welshite 40
I don't think that's what perdix meant, Drifter. I just hope she hasn't taken Silence of the Lambs to heart.
TheDrifter 24
Either op gets porkchops or becomes one. I'd take my chances, but my judgement may be clouded by the thought of Bacon's almost as delicious neighbor.
perdix 31
#38, TheDrifter has one of my meanings right and you have the other. I'm thinking that the OP is better off surrendering to her. She'd probably do whatever kinky shit he could ever imagine, and then make sammiches. Maybe porkchop sammiches.
gc327072 31
Stop it Perdix you're making me hungry...
perdix 31
Not horny?
Zedd_fml 8
Yup, surrender yourself to her, then fulfill every fantasies you can think of, until she realizes she is being played, then she will leave you alone..... .... Or burn down your house and tie you down in her basement as a sex slave, and make you watch the "Guide to DirecTV" while you hang from the ceiling, naked.
laden_swallow09 35
OR, be so utterly and hopelessly boring and unresponsive in bed and while out and about with her that she loses interest. Then again, she may get pissed and hold you hostage or even kill you since you didn't live up to her fantasies. Nevermind, bad idea…