Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
porcelainvains 8
YDI buddy.
WaywardDaughter 26
To bad there isn't a button for that.
martin8337 36
OP, how did she get your mom's number?
Nyx_fml 23
Maybe she spent an hour looking in the white pages... or she could just called the contact named "Mom" on his phone, since she had it.
VasNormandy 14
He have her his phone so she could put in her digits, instead she found the contact labeled "Mom" and called her.
queerdragon 20
Yeah, this is why you don't hand your phone over to someone. They either steal it or call your mom.
whymeplease44 8
it was his phone she was putting her number in on so he must have had his mom's number too
Thale_fml 8
Did she say no? Did she tell you to leave her alone? Sounds like it from the way you worded that FML. If you want to sleep with a girl, that's totally fine. If you're asking a girl to sleep with you, that's also fine. What's not fine is coaxing or harassing someone into sleeping with you. That's just plain disrespectful.
DWordHead16 19
I feel no sympathy for you, because you said that she finally had to give in, as if you wouldn't leave her alone and kept trying to get her to sleep with you. If she said no, you should have just left her alone. I'm glad she didn't fall for whatever you said to her.
chilevmv 7
Daaaaaaamn son lol
xSkittle 16
Well, you tried.
scarednegro 6
I have faith in women like that.
scarednegro 6
I have faith in women like tgis
salpop 11
OP, you definitely deserved it. Badgering someone to "get" them to sleep with you until they "finally give in" -- what did you think you were doing? You were harassing her for your own gain. Good for her.
jonahwalzer 12
Don't talk to girls just to sleep with them. Some actually have respect.
QueenOrangeSoda 21
Sooo, sleeping with someone is disrespecting oneself? You learn something new every day.
TheDrifter 24
Depends who you're sleeping with. A douchenozzle like op who pressured you into it, yeah, that would be disrespecting yourself.
Xalandra 17
Yes, sleeping with someone you hardly know, who could have numerous STDs, who doesn't give two ***** about your well being, and who is essentially just using you as a sex toy is disrespecting yourself. Condoms do not protect from all STDs, and if the person is just trying to have a one night stand, do you really think they're gonna tell you if they have an STD or not? Just saying, there's a lot that could go wrong with casual, meaningless sex. When there's no trust, it's a lot more dangerous.
jujuthefroggy_fml 16
I don't see how doing something dangerous and not respecting yourself are linked.... I did not know that extrem climbers have no self respect... If both just want to have fun, and protect themselves, and treat each other with respect, it seems to me that it is OK.
jadefire15 17
You are a DUMBASS #288! You're comparing people having sex to people doing sports?! That's like comparing dogs to cats!