Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
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Top comments
Lv2drum930 1
if you had been doing a good job, she probably would've been too busy to say anything at all
Simply_J 0
Stop barking!
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Comments (69)
Lv2drum930 1
if you had been doing a good job, she probably would've been too busy to say anything at all
justmyluck1212 0
the truth is fugly my friend
Karchev_The_Teri 0
sometimes the funny moments are better than the romantic ;)
DynamicDave 11
They should change the name of this site to F My Day. it would be much more accurate.
ynp092883 0
You might want to work on your technique
matsjoa 0
LOL
perdix 31
News flash! Guys don't know how to do ***********! Just because any girl who knows how to eat a popsicle can give a decent ******* doesn't mean we know how to eat pussy. Watch some ****, get a book or ask your girlfriend to show you around her crotchetal region. It's not second nature to munch carpet, so quit faking it and ask directions. My life would have probably turned out a whole lot different if I ever learned to do that well.
EnvyMe33 26
I hear you can practice with a peach... the licking, kissing and slurping
eoghanface 0
Awe):
Eric1 0
look..u just took her comment the wrong way! she was actually giving you a clue if you'd wise up! you should have said "well bend over and let me show you!"
schwinn11 0
thats when you take your pants off and slam her