Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
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Top comments
Lv2drum930 1
if you had been doing a good job, she probably would've been too busy to say anything at all
Simply_J 0
Stop barking!
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Comments (69)
Basiil 0
oh well.
youaresofucked 0
ERRR....what's ROMANTIC about licking a girls pussy OP? and you should have just continued
jchansfan 0
Exactly, is there reallya ny6thing "romantic" about oral sex? i just don't see it. Also #6 made my day... lmao... XD
XYZzzzzzzz 0
Well, its tiring
Youdumbidiot 0
I agree I think nothing is romantic about oral sex I think it's just people trying to fill that sexual need that will never be fill completely. I think a kiss or something like that is more romatic
Sheepiebeepie 26
Oral sex can be incredibly romantic. You can make every part of sex romantic..... Oral sex is the only way I can cum, or any way that plays with the right parts, being a lady....and orgasming with someone you're in a committed relationship with and love can definitely be romantic and sensual and intense from my experience.
rambles 0
LMAO
sonicmega 3
Well, at least if you suspect she's cheating on you, you'll know who to interrogate first!
perdix 31
Especially if you detect a peanut buttery aroma emanating from "down there."
omghehehe 0
Ewwww, poor dog!! So gross! :D OP: Sound like a dog? What does that mean?? How's that possible??? What were you salivating and slurping away???? I'm baffled :|
MormonPornstar 7
Slap some peanut butter on your cooch and find out first hand :)
iamazombie 0
nastyyy
infected0mushroo_fml 0
lmao @ #3
Simply_J 0
Stop barking!
jif_fml 0
don't be so sloppy next time.
sweatnut 0
haha @ #3, my thought exactly.
DataWhore 0
wth? You people complain about the stupidest crap! fyl because she said you sound like a dog? really?
smurfer 0
I love her