Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
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Top comments
Lv2drum930 1
if you had been doing a good job, she probably would've been too busy to say anything at all
Simply_J 0
Stop barking!
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Comments (69)
badluckwind 0
um, yeah. Doesn't sound like you know how to do oral very well. But don't be sad, most men are terrible at it.
mxrider4 0
Hopefully it didn't taste like dog food
persings 5
Haha my gf douse the same wen she isent moaning
SkoomaKi 28
Honesty at its finest. At least you pleasured her a bit..?
thejellycar 3
Gigidy doggy style
sarag2213 5
LMFAO
sdroze1389 31
as they said in superbad " don't suck dick at eating pussy"
tray623 7
you are doing it all wrong
Sheepiebeepie 26
Are people's sex lives really this lame? How uncomfortable can you be with your partner that laughing a little during sex isn't acceptable? Lighten up.