Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
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Top comments
Lv2drum930 1
if you had been doing a good job, she probably would've been too busy to say anything at all
Simply_J 0
Stop barking!
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Comments (69)
fallenxchick 0
lmfa0
yummcookie 0
she said it to mee too
Mr_Whitley 0
you should get advice from said dog.
movies12 0
You should of started barking after.
meepmeep_fml 0
Ugh, seriously, you should KNOW that you're doing it wrong if it sounds like a dog when you're eating a girl out. How did you even get a girlfriend, you clueless ****?
PsychoGorgeous 0
Psh, he was doing just fine, don't let that ruin your night OP, at least she didnt smack you and tell you its the worse head shes ever gotten.
fobchick 0
Eating pussy isn't that hard, let me show your girlfriend what it's all about.
Ninjaface 0
Either that was the perfect time to initiate doggy style or your girlfriend is a furry. Pray that it's the former.
agent_fml 0
I agree.. You should have played the doggystyle card.
pomlaos 0
Wow how sad.
LGshorty 0
haha u dog learn to lick gudd =D