Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
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Top comments
AverageJoey 18
Slid him a another note saying "u fokin wot m8?"
Welshite 40
First class doesn't mean a person has class. That man is a perfect example.
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Comments (59)
Adeptus_Astartes 22
Do you happen to live in the British isles? I can't imagine anyone else putting it that way.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Must be Scotland. Or a Scottish man who wrote the note anyway!
hugozac88 22
What the heck does that even mean
Patriots21 14
Yeah, does anyone care to share what this means??
Gurtol 9
This definitely happened in Scotland
swanheart 35
It means it's time for hadrian's wall to go back up. :) (Proud scot here by the way)
GrimReefer66 29
Top lad ;)
TheLittleBear 19
"Plook" is a Scots term for "spots" "acne" "pimples" whatever you like to call them.
ifunnyftw 10
Should've of said "no m8"
Thatepicperson 14
What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, ******. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, kiddo.
ZachHatesPeople 22
This is why I hate people, what an asshole.
Nicholas12 15
you hate everyone cause some people are mean...wow
Welshite 40
First class doesn't mean a person has class. That man is a perfect example.
MrSassypants 34
First class, and first ass.
AverageJoey 18
Slid him a another note saying "u fokin wot m8?"
Likian5 26
I'll blow yer fookin head off, I swear on me mum
gunnerysgt 15
U havin a fuking giggle m8?
Retaheki 27
1v1 mi irl fgt I rek ur mum
Paulvuck 15
gr8 banter m8 8/8
Ashwathi 21
Ignore him and enjoy the wonders of first class.
PossiblyInDanger 24
Sounds classier than some things I've heard on American flights.
teapotrevolt 27
Should reply, "If you have nothing nice to write, kindly shove the pen up your butt."
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Ignore it?