Today, it was raining downtown. I saw an elderly woman crossing the street so I lended her my umbrella and helped her across. When we got to the other side, she said, "Thank you Toby," and then refused to give back "her" umbrella to me, loudly enough for a nearby cop to hear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML
Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML
Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML
Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
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Top comments
QTp13 10
I know exactly how you feel. I had a really expensive Louis Vuitton handbag, and an old lady just randomly went to the on-duty police officer, and told him that 'I was the one who had taken her bag a few days ago'. When I showed my ID, and all the things that was in it (that were mine) he still didn't believe me. Sucks for you man. FYL indeed =(
rambles 0
what a ******!
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Comments (84)
Mustardnight 3
Wow you got owned
Deadlygadget 0
I would have to agree with #1 lol also who is Toby?
cucuto89 0
Kunta Kinte
QTp13 10
LOL
wordgirl 0
Y'all beat me to it. I was going to say I hope OP's not black. :p
wes85 2
Your name is Toby boy!!!
Boygenius50 8
Omg it's ******* Mrs. Lovett!!!!! Three times to get the umbrella nice and sweet and tender, Toby. . .
craaazymonkey 0
shoulda drop-kicked her
rambles 0
what a ******!
Squadoosh 0
Wow. The old lady was probably going senile. I'm sure it was fun explaining what happened to the police.
spazz666 18
Or she just wanted a free umbrella.
QTp13 10
I know exactly how you feel. I had a really expensive Louis Vuitton handbag, and an old lady just randomly went to the on-duty police officer, and told him that 'I was the one who had taken her bag a few days ago'. When I showed my ID, and all the things that was in it (that were mine) he still didn't believe me. Sucks for you man. FYL indeed =(
Flutist 3
really what a bitch. I would hurt someone who did that. My friend lost her iPod (stolen by a 'friend' who she wanted to bone) I got a new one for my birthday in the same color with my name written on the back. She bitched about how I stole her iPod because I had been saying how I wanted one for a month. She went on and on until I showed her the back. The principal was like, "Kacey chill out." She still doesn't believe her crush took her iPod even though he had the same one the next day. She even commented on how much music they had in common. Idiots.
QTp13 10
You know things like that really (excuse the french) piss me off. It seems that the laws protect the criminals, and disregard the good people. Sorry too hear that =(
ColdGold 6
That's funny!! Excuse the french. ??
LegitDGK 0
number 28 that's true it's cuz one person of a group did sumthing the cops blame the whole group. I'm a skater and I get blamed for shit all the time even though I don't do any of it
theset3 0
same dude
kawaiixalice 15
Lmfao @ the OP's name.
andagi2010 0
kunta... kinte...
badbunny 0
don't be nice to old people.
RuralNinja 0
Thats why you should never help any woman you're not trying to get with, because many will take the opportunity to stab you in the back for your generosity.
abciseasyas123 0
Lol I too must agree with #1. On a brighter note you can easily pick up a new umbrella for a few bucks. She could have totally lost it and beat you to a pulp with 'her' umbrella.
Mustardnight 3
Yay an agree-er
Yulia_fml 0
I bet that old lady knew EXACTLY what she was doing. She didn't want to walk the rest of her way without an umbrella and played the senile card to keep your umbrella! Ahh the wisdom of old age =)
starshine3987 0
Seriously. Old people act senile so they can get away with more but I think they know EXACTLY what they are doing. They are a lot smarter than they let on.
spazz666 18
They HAVE been here a lot longer than us, after all.
Nakedsquirrel 5
No good deed goes unpunished, as some say.