Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kameryn25 3
that's not so bad at least Germans drink like crazy and you can drive as fast as you want in some parts of the country. sounds like any teenagers dream.
Iamnotmyself 17
You know what, this is not ok, you should scare her with a bunny, get garden gnomes to conspire against her, and throw away any childhood awards. Then sue.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
Mirorbo 27
I hereby declare your mother to be an idiot...
catnip1997 0
is your mom hot?
mrahhhhh 21
Not as hot as your mom.
kaykay20 0
That's something she should have done before having kids or at least waited till you moved out or on summer break to be touring around a foreign country with you. Bad parenting on her part to be choosing what she wants over what you need like that.
xrainbowshadowx 17
Try to make the best of it OP. I know it's hard to move away from your home and friends, but if you maintain optimistic about this, you'll make life easier on yourself! Plus you'll learn a new language and culture, and make new friends. Have fun in Germany (:
Tyger44 1
Not fearsome as gulags&babi yar
maria_rose3 0
Aww.. I am german and I can help you!! I was away from here and came new too. At the start its kinda hard but then you'll get along. where you coming here?
Im_so_redneck 0
Ich liebe deutschland (;
Obryn 9
Spent most of my formative years in Germany... Great to live there as a teen, especially. Make the most of it! Definitely take advantage of the great public transportation and legal drinking age... ;)
caitlinstarship 0
Whoaa I live in Germany. It's cool. Hah lots of drinking. They drive like crazy people but don't hit pedestrians.
shaniquaaa 8
lol where i live they drive faster when they see you walking across the street
buttons742 2
last year i moved from canada to croatia, my mom gave me a year off school to learn the language and im starting school in less than a month, i still don't know the language 100%, and i don't know all of the school terms either, trust me, when you first move it'll be hard, but you just have to dive in head first, start learning the language, go out and try to meet people, surround yourself with the culture and try and adapt. i know how you feel OP, but think of it as a fresh start! you're starting off with a clean slate, and you can be whoever you want to be! it's an opportunity a lot of people wish they had! try and keep positive, i found it works best. :)