Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
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Top comments
kameryn25 3
that's not so bad at least Germans drink like crazy and you can drive as fast as you want in some parts of the country. sounds like any teenagers dream.
Iamnotmyself 17
You know what, this is not ok, you should scare her with a bunny, get garden gnomes to conspire against her, and throw away any childhood awards. Then sue.
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Comments (170)
Crazy_Clownz13 0
I'm in germany!!! I've been here 1 1/2 years. It's pretty fun tho.
123amanda123 14
its cool that you get to go somewhere new.. but then again it sounds like you don't want to so try and make the best of it :)
Nuahavizu 17
The only phrase you'll need to know in german: "Warum habe ich meine Hose nass gemacht?"
brooks101 0
Hears a thought dont go wow so simple evan u could do it.
Heliol 8
First off, please learn English properly. Secondly, it's not very easy to just say you're not going to move with your family when you're a minor. The foster care system is not usually very pleasant and even if you get emancipated you still have to work while you're in school. It's a lot harder to be independent than a child usually thinks.
Cloudia1 5
What a bitch
IBMoondance23 0
You may hate the idea now but you will love it there! If you can look over the counter you can drink! Germans speak english. I lived there 7yrs trust me it will be fantastic if you give it a chance! Take lots of pics!
jwarwick 0
Enjoy it! You'll gain a new perspective on life and education, and you also get "bragging rights." it will be an awesome experience, no matter the reason for moving. Suck it up and take advantage of the situation.
delfino1604 24
your mothers a moron
nicopico_fml 2
You're the luckiest kid in the world, go and enjoy every minute of it, it'll change you're life forever.
Harlequin073 6
Way to Go cry about an awesome experience