Today, my asshole of a roommate finally decided to move out. Not only did he take his belongings with him, he took some of mine as well. Including my dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, my roommate is being evicted. Since we had some very good memories together, I was sad to come home and see all of her stuff gone...and half of my stuff, too. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML
Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML
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Top comments
RooBooBear 0
Take his girlfriend.
Goddess_Rummy 13
That sucks. Find him and steal back your dog ninja style.
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Comments (166)
iranoutofnames 6
Somebody barked up the wrong tree...
IndiRae 9
Somebody made a shitty pun that doesn't really go with the situation...
StoryOfTheYear 15
^^^ Apparently they also stole this guy's sense of humor xD
IndiRae 9
This girl has a sense of humor. Hence, why she made a joke. Maybe you should find yours.
Jaimegirl 7
Isn't it your own fault for moving in with someone you don't even know how to contact if they leave? If your talking about college why is your dog even there? haha
L3Paparazzo 7
Go get your dog back !
Jaimegirl 7
Isn't it your own fault for moving in with someone you don't even know how to contact? And if this is a college roommate, why did you have your dog with you? haha
TenderizeMe 0
Did he take it in a doggy bag?
DropDead77 11
Somebody definitely.. Barked up the wrong tree..?
StoryOfTheYear 15
28- Aha! retaliation >:} Pardon my mistake on your gender (although I do refer to females as guys on occasion if it is a group) Also I rather liked my joke's relevance to the FML, it was not really meant to bash you but that's how it ended up coming out I apologize for any feelings I've hurt or strings I've pricked
IndiRae 9
Dude. Bro. 37. We cool.
hwp123 0
Yes he should with whipcream In his mouth
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lol sorry for the overkill
saadwaseem 1
get it together, kids!
epiclife101 0
Steal it back !
epiclife101 0
Steal it back !
CommenSense 0
Judge Judy his ass!!
sweetandsexy 0
your dogs stupid, how does it just walk away like that?
dre_bro11 12
69, if a human can be unwillingly taken away (kidnapped) pretty easily, then a dog which seems to be tamed wouldn't even be a challenge. Just put a leash on it and it has no choice but to follow.
StoryOfTheYear 15
84- Good thing you were here, or I'd have been rather confused
Pixxio_O 11
84- it was dognapped
Friaza 29
Track the theive down in facebook and call the cops on him!
dre_bro11 12
Ah 89, sarcasm. I like it :P Nah, that was for 69, who seems to be missing a few brain cells. And thanks for the correction 113.
gyroballer 0
dog gone
JustHello123 1
So sorry
Ashelizabethh 8
I rather like the idea of going all judge Judy on his ass (:
RooBooBear 0
Take his girlfriend.
Iamnotmyself 17
Take his.. Oh ya he moved away... Well shit.
BooGhosted 0
Or. Find out where he moved and as long as he isn't more than a few hours away, discover his habits. Once you figure out his daily plans and know exactly when he is gone from his new living area, buy a gun and ammo, take aim at his house/ apartment/ box. Call him on his cellular device from a non traceable phone then proceed to sing a lullaby to him while shooting bullets into he ground beside you and not at the house you were aiming at before. Then drive home and forget the reason you ever did this.
Iamnotmyself 17
-18 No grenades? Boo, I say after that, throw a grenade, and walk away.. LIKE A BOSS
rob1188 0
Hire dog the bounty hunter
BooGhosted 0
19- I'm terribly sorry, I will restate the entire paragraph to introduce a grenade into my short story. ( Takes deep breath ) ... Grenade . Happy?
Iamnotmyself 17
-23 Why yes I am. Almost as happy as Charlie Sheen before his career shattered to pieces.
BooGhosted 0
26- I'm also happy because your comment made me chuckle. :' l
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
He already stole OPs' bitch.
xoconnie 8
18 it seems like u have some experience doing that.....
hokesmash 0
Yeah! Steal his girlfriend
Goddess_Rummy 13
That sucks. Find him and steal back your dog ninja style.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Stole your profile pic, I've always thought something along those lines xD
Bunnynapper47 6
well maybe your mom thought the dog was ruining your love life so she sold him to your roommate for $10.
ericwashere 0
Ninjas for the win!
dragonrider1959 18
A reference to another fml I see
not_cool808 14
HoT DOG!!
xlord 27
Thank you for that insightful comment which doesn't seem to have anything in common with this story besides the word dog
Ldesu 0
You could sue him for theft.
ninjaniki 0
dog act!
techweed 12
What a Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Douchebag!!
whoisthisgirl 4
Lol ray's song!
fatass_ninja 0
I love that song!
techweed 12
Me, too
wolfgold2 20
Dear Mr. Douchebag,
regsworld11 2
Get that dog back! That's so mean, sue his ass for theft!
thomas357 0
what is with people from the USA during people for every little thing?
1215116a 14
Wouldn't you get mad if someone stole your stuff AND your dog?
mrmrmrman 6
why must you be a stereotyping **** face when someone stole your stuff, you sue for theft otherwise you won't see it again.
deadrising084 1
Stereotypes. Not cool -_-
sandyandellie 5
I second everyone who called you stereotype. though, I'm Asian/american... so it doesn't directly apply to mwa..
blushingred 0
Suing unnecessary. If simple reasoning (which sounds impossible with the douche ex-roomate) doesn't work---you'd call the cops. No frivolous lawsuit needed! ;)
meetmissmayhem 4
141- I agree. There's no reason to sue. If you have papers for the dog or got it at a shelter and it's in your name the cops can get him back easily for you, OP. I've had to get my puppy back from an ex boyfriend and it was easily done since the dog was registered in my name and at my home address.
brotastic 0
hunt him down and beat his ass
bryanfdz 0
I completley agree
JEHughes 13
I agree with number 9.
mrahhhhh 21
Find him, kick his ass, and take your dog and stuff back. Then in one month, find him and kick his ass again. Tell him the last one was so he doesn't forget about you.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Lol I love your profile pic.