Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
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Top comments
kameryn25 3
that's not so bad at least Germans drink like crazy and you can drive as fast as you want in some parts of the country. sounds like any teenagers dream.
Iamnotmyself 17
You know what, this is not ok, you should scare her with a bunny, get garden gnomes to conspire against her, and throw away any childhood awards. Then sue.
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Comments (170)
tj4234 36
Supposedly German isn't that hard a language to learn. You'll be fine :D. If your dropped into a language and HAVE to learn it you pick it up within a few weeks.
stevenmx86 8
Ydi, refuse to do it and tell her it's your life and she's not going to ruin it. Unless she pays for all of your schooling in which case ydi for leeching...
AustrianChaos 3
"Ruin" his life? Yes, I couldn't imagine ANYTHING worse for a proper CV than international experience and additional knowledge in foreign languages. How DARE his mother ruin his life like that. Talk about being short-sighted.
DawnMarie11 0
How could he deserve it for being a minor and living with his mother, and leaching? Parents have an obligation to care for their minor children which isn't leaching it's being I child. I hate to see if you Ever had a child, you'd be the type of parent who gives their child a bill for taking care Of them....
blackvyper 8
Welcome.. better hope you're in Bayern like me!
psala 0
You'll love it!
mrlucky4444 0
They have English speaking international schools there...
njalexs 1
did you ever live in Germany? :) where did u live? I went to Bonn International School! :)
KnucklesDeep 5
You could always, you know, develop a spine and stand up to your mother.
backtobase 1
u probably think it sucks now but im telling u, u'll LOVE Germany.i have lived there, its great, the drinking, the parties, the people-they do speak English!-, the places u can visit, take advantage of that.and a year back in school worths it, im sure u will have more to brag about when this year ends than ur mother ;))) im soooo jealous of u
belletdancer 0
Just go to an international school. When I was 13 my parents moved us to Norway. I went to an international were they spoke english. I learned everything I was suppose to and was put into the proper grade. I made tons of friends. Being an expat is fun, trust me:)
njalexs 1
I lived in Germany for four years the Netherlands for two years and Belgium for three years. it was a great experience and I loved it. it gave me so many opportunities and chances to travel. I learned German quite fast! where in Germany are you going to move to? I went to an international school meaning that their primary language is english so all of your classes are in English. there are a few of them around Germany so take a look. they are schools for people moving from around the world especially the US. Good luck! :D
perdix 31
At least your mom brags about you. Mine tells everyone she's childless. Germans love having Russians come to their country -- tell them to call you "Stasi." They'll think that's hilarious.
Arch27 27
I don't think the mom was bragging about her kid -- she's bragging about moving to/living in another country. Kind of a stupid thing to brag about, really. I mean, unless you were getting out of some horrid place, why bother moving at all?