Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
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Top comments
kameryn25 3
that's not so bad at least Germans drink like crazy and you can drive as fast as you want in some parts of the country. sounds like any teenagers dream.
Iamnotmyself 17
You know what, this is not ok, you should scare her with a bunny, get garden gnomes to conspire against her, and throw away any childhood awards. Then sue.
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Comments (170)
katecst 3
Stop complaining and enjoy the experience abroad!!
Mipz 2
Maybe you'll meet my eaqually stupid cousin.
xxskittlezxx1 0
its legal to smoke weed over there so thats an plus
Merylwen 24
No it's not.
emoaileen 11
U can hang out with me I'll teach toy German xD I happen to live there :p also you could go to an international school it's in English but costs a shitload of money :p
purplemnm 9
Im from Germany, let me help you learn it. :D
purplemnm 9
I resent that statement. When I was growing up, everyone I knew had a decent sense of humor, and I didn't hear a single horror story until I was 10. Also, German is a beautiful and sexy language, most would agree with me.
Arch27 27
Everyone keeps going on about drinking - big deal. Legal or not, kids who want to drink end up doing it anyway. The problem here is that the mother wants to move for frivolous reasons. Uprooting someone from their familiar surroundings and friends without having a solid explanation is dumb.
josiebella 1
Well, maybe it will be an awesome experience. Not everyone has the chance to go to a foreign country, let alone the chance to full immerse themselves in a different country. If you can't change your situation, you CAN change your attitude about your situation. It's going to happen. Deal with it. The more positive you are about moving to Germany, the better experience you will have. Nothing wastes time better than having a sucky attitude and feeling sorry for yourself---and you never know how much time you have, so you might as well make the best of it.
loserman67 36
Sprekenzee - suck?
Magnimus 4
Just in case, start learning German now; but it sounds like your mom just up and decided she wants to move to Germany, which is not the same as being able to do it. It's actually fairly difficult to move to the EU. More so than it is for non-Americans to move to the US.