Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML
Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML
Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, I was accepted to college and received a scholarship equal to almost half the tuition. After sharing this news with my parents, I spent the next 35 minutes getting yelled at about how I wasn't allowed to go there because my boyfriend might go there. FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML
Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I'm German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, my teacher laughed at the "irony." Something like this always happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
Today, I got a letter from Yale Law School saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing… even the bottom of the letter, which said, "April fools' ! Love, Mom and Dad." FML
Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML
Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML
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Top comments
mr_t_07 10
Bet you did nazi that coming :D
Kordellf 8
At least in Germany they won't be within reich.
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Comments (67)
mr_t_07 10
Bet you did nazi that coming :D
cakefete2 31
Anne Frankly, OP is probably still in shock.
swaggalikethat 22
All right I see where you all are going with this, but lets stop before this goes any führer.
Kyle1dc 17
OP's in the Reich and they're in the wrong. Heil be back though.
baseballbv 17
Oktoberfest.
finnrambo 13
did jew guys really have to go there?
tigerisabelle 31
Wow, it must've taken a lot of concentration to come up with those puns. Frankly, I don't think I could do that.
nlm92 15
Nice try 33
gpg5 19
Germany
Harvzey 18
Her family are being a bunch of Deutschbags.
Soviet_American 29
Jew guys are acting like you're nein.
Soviet_American 29
Jew guys are acting like you're nein
Melix 31
I give these jokes a nein out of ten
MisterEx 28
OP should tell then to go to heil and then gaze into their eyes.
kieranlike80 8
I bet OP is nacht laughing at these jokes
Jared900DUmpling 30
I've been trying to think of a pun but I can't really concentrate on it. I might need a glass of jews and a cookie out of the oven to get me motivated.
Kyle1dc 17
#106 You forgot a nice shower as well.
SuperWhoMarvLock 22
Yikes. Go out there and do your best in school, and prove them wrong! :D
schhichick 14
Just like when Westley worked hard on the Dread Pirate Roberts ship and then finally became the Dread Pirate Roberts and because of his hard work he also saved the love of his life!
xxrogerthatxx 19
What exactly is she proving them wrong about? They didn't handle the news to OP's satisfaction but they never said she's gonna fail.
Nordrag 26
37 - I've only seen two of your comments today, but both were princess bride related. Its a good movie, but did you like just watch it, or are you just that addicted to it? lol
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#37 has made a ton of Princess Bride related quotes on multiple FMLs. It may be the best movie ever, but the comments are getting pretty redundant when that's ALL you comment about.
Kordellf 8
At least in Germany they won't be within reich.
silvercamaro 22
OP should just say Aufwiedersehen to their family and enjoy Germany
vairyhagina 11
Yeah, ops family sound like complete deutschbags
Warmonger_Smurf 29
A grammar Nazi in the making?
BvbArmy_0 18
No
xxrogerthatxx 19
light hearted family eh?
ladyLALAA 29
Father of the year right there!
Mii99 16
Anne frankly, I would do the same also
_FML_Austin_ 12
That joke should have been left in the attic...
tournamentdecide 33
You didn't hide your pun too well.
Kyle1dc 17
You better concentrate on that.
rachelthelime_fml 29
I did Nazi that coming
xxrogerthatxx 19
But seriously, what does Germany have to do with becoming a heathen?
cakefete2 31
Agreed. If America didn't already ruin you, I don't think Germany will.
xxrogerthatxx 19
To become a heathen does not mean to be ruined ^.
Ryan8878 21
@7 My guess would be that the family is quite religious and concerned that the OP is going to a substantially more secularist country. Thereby pulling him away from the family's hard line stance on which ever faith they ascribe too. Believing, that OP's new living arrangements will result in OP becoming a heathen, no matter how ridiculous a belief that may be.
blackonblight 33
Well, Norse pagans tend to use the term "heathen" to describe themselves, if memory serves.
little_one 20
I'd rather be a heathen than a believer.
homesuckfucker 28
OP, don't let them get you down. Even though I'm sure they mean it all in good humor, it's understandable that you'd be upset. But you worked very hard to get where you are. Good job, and best of luck.
martin8337 36
What do your folks have against Germany? Descendents of the holocaust?
BananaMan844 4
It's okay, OP. Just start telling American jokes!
PenguinBitch 44
No. If he does that they'll sue him for emotional distress.