Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
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Top comments
kameryn25 3
that's not so bad at least Germans drink like crazy and you can drive as fast as you want in some parts of the country. sounds like any teenagers dream.
Iamnotmyself 17
You know what, this is not ok, you should scare her with a bunny, get garden gnomes to conspire against her, and throw away any childhood awards. Then sue.
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Comments (170)
Anthonymm2 20
Das ist nicht gut!!!
SorrowFull 8
Sprechen Sie FYL
unixdude 9
Shut the hell up ya whiner. Kids the world over would kill to be able to spend a year in another country.
Spoonz 4
...yea, that's the reason
Norbury 6
Just learn German and stop whinging, the experience will be great. When you're immersed in a language you learn it miles faster as well. By the way, in the old East lots of people don't speak English.
sooner70 0
YDI our mother only did that because you told everyone that you new how to speak German. When all you did was say the lyrics from Du Hast by Rammstein so think twice before you talk shit about out mother
mikropdeluxe 5
i live in germany, too. there are so many russian people here, you won't miss anything ;)
NinjaNay 0
What... That sucks
chantel15 0
oh schibe! I'd love to go to gemany, don't complain!
RUSH777 0
You're a bitch. I spent 3 years of my life dedicated to hopefully getting in to the German Exchange program, and the year I was supposed to submit my application, they took German out of my school's curriculum. Appreciate it. Germany is an amazing place to be, and it isn't that difficult of a language to pick up.