Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Back home
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Moving on
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Scheiße!
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
No comprendo
Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Kids will be kids
Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML
Today, after waiting well over a month for a work visa in Germany that should only have taken 3 weeks to come through, I finally received my long-awaited answer. Unfortunately, that answer was "We lost your paperwork." FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Top comments
BingleBop 18
Well at least you should be pretty good at German by the end if your stay. You always learn faster when you're forced to!
CammyGal 26
Why would you choose to go to Germany if you didn't know the language? You couldn't have expected the family to do everything for you. If you were forced to go, you still should have known beforehand and made an effort to learn.
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Comments (135)
BingleBop 18
Well at least you should be pretty good at German by the end if your stay. You always learn faster when you're forced to!
laurenlovesjb 20
I'm going to Germany this summer as a foreign exchange student too, except ill be staying there for a full year! Honestly, my sister did the same thing but in Norway and they didn't speak English either. But she gave a HUGE effort learning and was fluent within 1.5 months. That method is called immersion.!
hessel 13
i think he would be better in german if he stayed nein months there. :p
piff7 14
Being forced to learn a language really does help out a lot. Speaking it yourself is going to be very hard but German isn't too hard to interpret what they are saying. Don't sweat it, they will understand and just try your best. It's ok if you screw up
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Why would the family say they spoke English fluently if they didn't?
kristabelli 19
#60 - Because they wanted an exchange student!
jlg337 11
Because the application was in English ;)
SwaggCapone 11
Rosetta stone?
feelingold 18
ha ha ha ha (schadenfreude). Lesson number one.
Neta 16
Been there. Miming usually is the most efficient and most hilarious way of communication. Try to learn from them while you're there. :)
lloyd123 17
isn't that a perfect setup? :D
ShinedownLuv 14
Google translate to the rescue!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
But he won't know how to spell what they say :O Although, German isn't too hard to sound out.
avapaige1234 19
I've had some embarrassing experiences with people who spoke foreign languages because of Google Translate, but then it can still be useful for word per word translation.
juturnaamo 29
The inaccuracies are frequently because of differences in grammar rules, and for the most part, German grammar is the same as English. The main issue with it is the same as the problem with the books and beginner's German classes, that is, you'll speak to everyone as if you work for them. I have a hard time picking up someone when I've been calling him Sir all night.
CallMeWindSock 24
101, as a fluent speaker of both English and German, I can tell you that the grammar isn't very similar at all.
mfmylifesrsly 30
Google translate isn't that great for full on translations but more just specific words. If you try to talk to people using that you'll refer to everyone as formal/plural "you". I'm learning German right now and learned over 200 words in 5 days. The app is called duolingo and it's free but you can also register online. It's really helped me a lot. I don't look at the words/sentences and think "oh 'auf wiedersehen' translates to 'until we see eachother again/good bye'", I just automatically understand it. Kind of like we all know gracias means thanks in Spanish, but with this program you'll understand sentences as well. OP I strongly suggest duolingo! :)
nelroca 7
@109 I completely agree with you! Although I'm not fluent in in speaking and writing German, I'm good at listening and reading it haha. The grammar is so...frustrating! Definitely does not seem like its similar to English (my opinion, ofc).
CammyGal 26
Why would you choose to go to Germany if you didn't know the language? You couldn't have expected the family to do everything for you. If you were forced to go, you still should have known beforehand and made an effort to learn.
nyrangersfan9 13
I agree. I'm not saying you need to know the language fluently, but take a few prep classes.
Fuji76 15
I totally agree, #6. Why is it that, as Americans, we expect everyone to cater to us? OP should've made the effort to at least learn a few basic phrases. The family probably speaks English quite well, being as it is taught in school, they just won't speak it to OP because he/she hasn't put forth the effort to use their language. Just saying.
jackiemora 18
You would be surprised how many people go places and do not know the language at all. I work in retail and I don't know how many times I try helping foreigners but they don't speak English at all. It's frustrating because they buy for other people and I have no idea what they want.
Dynosaur_dollie 38
It's actually not mandatory to take English though it is offered. It wasn't offered many years back either many of my family and my father's friend (older generation) don't speak or know English. They very well may not know any. Op I suggest an English to Genan dictionary, might help a bit.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Anyone what to bet these are the same people who say we should learn other languages for those who are moving to the U.S.
monnanon 14
i have never had a problem with foriegners not knowing my language at my place of work and i do my best to learn the essentials for thr countries i travel to. English speaking countries are the worst when it comes to learning foreign languages. it makes me cringe when i see so many fellow brits using the "if i speak louder and slower you'll understand me" approach when abroad.
bjc216 6
#11, I feel the same way! I just got back from a trip to Italy and France and felt really bad when I had to speak English because I feel like we Americans set up a double standard where we expect those visiting America to know English but don't always make an effort to learn the language of a country that we visit
TheDrifter 24
Canadians have their own version if that. Western Canadians will travel to Paris and speak broken French for two weeks, but we'll pretend we don't understand a word of Quebecois when we get home.
Octwo 16
Funny that people try to imply Americans are the sole perpetrators of this. Do you know how many Mexicans come to the California without learning English? While we may be the worst offender, stop pretending that we are the only offender.
alycion 39
Even when I go on cruises and am in port for less then a day I try to learn a little about the culture I'm visiting and a few phrases if they speak a different language. It has been helpful and made the visits that much more enjoyable.
roachyroo 5
The québécois don't seem to understand french either. I can boat down to SPM which is France and I am understood. No dice in Quebec Thou.
Fuji76 15
Thank you, #28. I've been to Germany twice. I've never taken German, but I made an attempt to speak German whenever I could. You'd be surprised how much more receptive people are when you at least make the effort to meet them halfway. For the rest of you, I'm not saying we Americans are the only perpetrators, but we definitely have the perception that English should be spoken world-wide.
PaigeLeeAnn11 23
Immersion is the best way to learn another language. Good luck!
lolfood 24
All you need to know is "NEIN NEIN NEIN"
feelingold 18
And, more importantly, that it really means "Yes"
lolfood 24
No. It's the number 9. (obviously no sarcasm.)
AngrySailor 17
10- I find "Willst mit meine gurke spielen?" a good one to know... It's a friendly greeting, I only use that with the ladies though ;)
HungerGames95 13
47, isn't that "want to play with my pickle?"
AirborneCleric 12
Cucumber. But the Germans only like cooked cucumbers, so you better be careful!
17This_Is_Me17 8
So did they tell you they were fluent english speakers in german or english ?
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Exactly.
Omniprism 15
Weird. I don't suppose you can complain to someone about their "false advertising". Try and have fun anyways. Do you have a smart phone because there are some great translating apps out there.