Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML
Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML
Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML
Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
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Top comments
kameryn25 3
that's not so bad at least Germans drink like crazy and you can drive as fast as you want in some parts of the country. sounds like any teenagers dream.
Iamnotmyself 17
You know what, this is not ok, you should scare her with a bunny, get garden gnomes to conspire against her, and throw away any childhood awards. Then sue.
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Comments (170)
myco_fml 5
wow you definitely dont deserve it, and your life definitely doesnt suck quit whining and being such a princess, start learning and opening your mind and get ready to be in one of the most exciting places on earth ffs
generalcheif123 0
Ha this is so funny I just moved to Germany to! But my life isnt so f***ed....
chrisismybabyy 6
let me know if you find lena... wo ist lena? bahahahahaha :)
Saltator 0
Hey where are you moving to? I am german by the way and am fluent in englidh. I've had to move to to 4 different countries in my life and well its gonna be an amazing and unforgettable experience. Try to have fun, learn german (it is an ugly language but who cares) make friends and smile.
xcutioner 0
Lol true I gotta say the actually version of hansel and grettal scared me shitless
Meddler09 6
You'll love it. Quit crying.
interesting33 37
That sucks! surely you should get a say? However, a lot of people in Germany do speak English. I love Germany but it sucks that you have to move there when you don't want to. :(
eagle99e 4
Don't be so glum. Its a beautiful country! I've spent entire summers there visiting my family in Wiesbaden. There are so many beautiful sights to see and cool things to do! Be excited trust me its well worth it. And the drinking is nice too! All we used to do was drink and have a good time from sun up till sundown
Ohthatsnasty 17
Damn, that sucks
fantasyworld 39
Why is everyone being harsh on OP? Would you like to live in a country where you don't understand anyone? If OP does learn German doesn't mean she will become an expert in a week.