Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
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Top comments
kg163401 0
I dub thee corpse ******
yazah 0
Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)
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Comments (404)
TSanMig 0
7 times?! -facepalm-
Emma_louise_uk 0
Ed?
Reidar 11
I'm guessing you're doing it wrong...
mucking101 0
hahahhahahaha
jenjen0146 7
maybe you suck in bed? maybe she has someone she likes to **** more than you? maybe she prefers pussy? maybe she is just dead down there and it's time for a new girlfriend? either way...good luck!
upgrade542 0
#346 haha she is like "ED?" i bet thats his lame ass girlfriend lmbo!
ChrissiPumpkin 10
Not going to lie - expect her to break up with you soon. :( This is how I acted before my last huge breakup.
dansco 25
Maybe wake her up next time!
sweet_hinder 0
Was she breathing. Or was she pretending to play dead so it would end quicker!!!
AnynomousPerson 0
mabey your tappin a pillow