Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
Today, I found out my mother-in-law is trying to force me to lose weight, even though I am trying, and have a medical condition. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I caught my mother telling my 11-year-old daughter that if she wants to be happy in life, she needs to start exercising now, because fat can creep up on you, and rich guys never marry fat girls with nice personalities. I was fuming. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML
Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
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Top comments
meanmeli 0
lmfao that's messed up
saintdalman 4
Time to start cooking your own meals!
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Comments (252)
Crlnprz 11
damn xD
meanmeli 0
lmfao that's messed up
sexysterlingarch 1
omg wow that is totally wrong..
ChrisSG 0
hmm, wouldn't you be able to realize it earlier?
cgchamp89 7
That sounds delicious :) you're so lucky!
khaya 9
At least she isn't only giving you oil and butter. Unless you're into that.
juicedboi 7
Did you ever wonder why your steak was always being deep fried in butter? You should start slipping laxatives in her food and say u just wanted her to be skinnier.
sexysterlingarch 1
53.. I had to start a new account because my other one got permanently banned lol.. and I'm trying to put my old pic up but I gotta find it..
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
you mean lhfao
imacreeper 3
the only reason why she wants you to be fatter then her is because she is jealous of you, which makes no sense but that tension and feeling is jealousy. I don't understand why some mothers are jealous of their children....
iwishicould 7
I like your picture. =]
pertained 12
wtf snow whites step mother much.
OMGIFOUNDWALDO 6
well my father frequently punches me in the nuts to prevent me from being more manly than him, so i ttly feel ur pain OP
11jackson11 0
That can cause a lot of problems and is abusive...
nagbackdive 0
where's your brother hansel?
kateeeh 0
sucks to suck
kateeeh 0
sucks to suck
OceanBreathesSal 5
98 it's more like hansel and gretel. haha nice try though(:
pertained 12
139, Well, I wasn't referring to the physical side of it if that's what you mean, rather metaphorically reffering to the desire to be more beautiful and 'thin' than ones offspring as inhibited by OP's mother, which I found strikingly resembled the desire held by the evil step-mother in Snow white, known to be a a bitch for hating her daughter for stealing her beauty and basking in the limelight.
lunaXXdennice 0
81- you are so right I f-ing hate it when parents are like that it makes me mad because the kid didn't do anything wrong but be her/himself and the parent just hates the child because of that it's f-ing messed up...
goober426 7
haha now thats what I'm saying!
madmanturbo 0
in mother Russia, mother eats you.
FuniiBunii 0
OP common it's 21st century , obv everything is possible, and yes even a mother who wants bad things 4 her kids -.-
alexg823 0
162 - The joke usually involves the former Soviet Union, and is stated at the beggining of the joke, if you want to call it that, because it's not even funny... IDK, I'm bitter right now.
iDoubtWhales 7
Well my dad slips steroids in my food just so he can Bragg about me. How haven't I noticed?....shut up
woosah 16
snow white eh?
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Soviet Russia jokes aren't funny anymore.
primadonna9396 16
I always thought Russian Inversions were funny, but generation Y ruined them like they ******* ruined everything else. Correct: In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party finds you. Incorrect: IN SOVIET RUSIA CAR DRIVES YOU LOLOL
kikibrowm 7
I absolutely agree. What has the world come to...?
mancool124 4
That sux Third
LPEasierToRn 3
Niiiice
dgr8ing 0
that's when you run away.
khaya 9
I imagine she has gotten quite slow, running might also lead to heart failure in her current condition.
yougotapes 7
that's horrible... my momma does cause she loves me
kingtz 6
Yes, run away because your mom probably intends to cook and eat you after you get fat.
imcutefml 0
its easier to run..... oh wait not when uhave a car!
cgchamp89 7
his name is Hansel
imacreeper 3
his brothers name is Grettle.
monnanon 14
Grettel was the sister not the brother. Sheesh
HyundaiOwner7 0
Sounds made up.
HyundaiOwner7 0
I wasn't referring to the FML being made up btw
Slythrr 0
how did this comment get blocked??
saintdalman 4
Time to start cooking your own meals!
whiteboy7thst 2
Or look into adoption
mackop 0
adoption sounds much more reasonable.
EatnBeef 7
she's fattening you up so you can be cooked with butter
kl_beans 0
and is she your mother or is she the wicked witch of the west... just saying
bee_nessa 0
Yup!!
ceddyz17 10
big guys need love too
Arraggatis 0
Except OP is female.
allanaskye 0
she's saying that the op will be fat and have to date a big guy. (or a black man)
shocking_silence 0
lmfao! the black man comment is perfect hahahah!! oh gawd C':
abasio 1
Yeah, I'm skinny but love big girls :)
shumian 4
it's not being shallow.Attraction is attraction we can't help it, quit flaming tubby lumpkins
cs1238 0
Not all big girls are ugly. P.S. I married a gorgeous skinny man ;-)
eftup 9
moron
ThePeanutLord 0
But you are one. Seriously. You don't think men date fat girls? My brother used to be one of the best runners in the country in his age group (as in top 3), yet he dates a chubby girl. And they love each other.You make it sound like fat girls never get laid. To quote Forrest Gump's most famous line ever: Well they do.
maloriewatson 3
racist..
mancool124 4
wtf
flotar 0
yeah, it doesn't make any sense •_o
ssbtoday 3
She's jealous.
AAShah 0
Oh really now?
mollyjynxjax 28
No shit Sherlock!
qasimahsan93 4
I'm sorry, but WTF is wrong with that woman? O_O
enonymous 9
Well she lost her turkey during thanksgiving and you were the likely replacement. just wait till she starts basting you in butter and trying to stuff stuffing up your ass
missymoo123 0
lmao stuffing
itialian_lol 0
LMAO dude, great comment