Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
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Top comments
kg163401 0
I dub thee corpse ******
yazah 0
Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)
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Comments (404)
12fhstar 4
was it your blowupp doll again ?????? (:
LJR589 0
I had a girlfriend like that once. she was a virgin when I met her. was with her for about a year, and it was always that terrible. virginity is this sought after thing except the girls usually lack pleasuring skill beyond opening their legs. so sad.
jinxjem 0
In all seriousness, that sounds like rape. Silence does not mean consent. If she's not participating, all you're doing is using her to get off. How about you man up and have a conversation with her about it?
Darkhatchling 0
get a real girlfriend and not a blow up doll!
Osito2011 9
do her doggy style then play with her butt hole to get her to move around
f_my_flip_life 5
You're doing it wrong.
julien86_fml 2
what do you expect from a blow up doll ?
chasity_27 2
well, you better check her pulse... she might not be alive to feel it. either that or that says a lot about you..... #pause
queenk90810 0
dude she's not feeling you..
Quasar_fml 0
I love how people are ready to believe that he's having sex with a dead woman, rather than saying he sucks in bed.