Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
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Top comments
somnula 9
she probably just meant "last time" and said yesterday. nbd
irishdubr 0
U shoulda said "ok" and started jerkin off. Then ask her what SHE did yesterday.
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Comments (90)
TBman256 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
FIRST!
kaaz_fml 0
And let the thumbs down begin.
19avengers 0
wow you wasted your life camping on a ridiculous site waiting to be first to comment on a post - FYL and YDI... you sad bastard... gtfo and make some friends...
iKaite 0
To the FIRST poster. Congratulations, everyone hates you.
divineinstrument 2
The people who post "First!" on this site are just trying to get an angry reaction, which they always get without fail. I doubt it's that big a deal for them to be the first person to comment.
Xero3g 5
Go first guy!
alexcanttell 0
gtfo?
janefrom1979 0
"Get the f*** out"
rosaleehoohaha 0
the only way to stop these people is to ignore them. they do it for the attention and you give them exactly what they want.
pompomkiwi 14
Like every post has this
suckstobeyou3 0
woww that really sucks :/ hopefully she was kidding?
casey6492 0
(Comment Deleted)
kitties_fml 12
that's what i thought
aback 5
So if "what you did yesterday" wasn't anything you actually did last time, consider it your ***** Alarm going off.
jamesbehave 0
I agree with #1
somnula 9
she probably just meant "last time" and said yesterday. nbd
lmmmr 0
Agreed. Unfortunately sense has no place on fmylife.com.
divineinstrument 2
I was a bit confused with this FML, but #6 got it spot-on. I don't know how many times I've gotten "last time" and "yesterday" mixed up
SomeonePosting 0
That's probably it. My partner does it all the time only with smaller things like movies we watched or something. So I don't blame the OP's girlfriend for mixing it up.
Postlude 1
Did you.. not have sex, but do something else? Like laying on the couch watching TV and you felt her up? IDK :( I hope she's just mixed up, don't jump to assumptions without decent proof IMO
plexico 4
You might ask her what she and the man with the big dick did yesterday, so you can attempt to match his wizardry with your shrivelled little wand.
AlfonzoRex 0
agree with #6
rc024 0
WOW....what a ***** i woulda **** slapped the taste out of her mouth
XxMuFaSaxX 15
I think the only reason people voted this down is because you said *****. that last part is funnier than shit
irishdubr 0
U shoulda said "ok" and started jerkin off. Then ask her what SHE did yesterday.
DieterDerBlau 0
WORD!
kidNflorida 0
Hahaa
genius_man16 1
Epic win.