Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
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Top comments
kg163401 0
I dub thee corpse ******
yazah 0
Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)
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Comments (404)
QBGirl123 8
She's actually dead...necrophilia much?
Arza81 0
Cos she's getting it somewhere else. It's not the same when better Is on the side. Your just a fill in now. She just puts up with it cos she's a coward and won't admit she's cheating. Wake up idiot, u bore her!!! desert tastes better!!!
kim0mook 0
time to get rid of the blow up doll and get a real gf.
xxJonaKillsxx 8
Put it in her ass....that oughta jump start her ;)
dr_octagonapus47 4
That would discourage me just a little bit **** your life man
Ashenwolf 1
Did you check for a pulse before you started going at it?
deransc 19
Keep hittin it - just dont marry her
captainburke 5
Maybe making a lot of noise isn't her thing or you're lousy in bed. Either way be glad you're getting some!
SkoomaKi 28
You're just not hitting the spot. The "G" one to be exact.
Lisha_B 5
give her some attention outside of the bedroom. tease the hell out of her. then pull the I have a headache bit just when she thinks she's getting some. make her think about sex other than when u r humping her