Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Snoozefest
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Sounds hot
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML
So frustrating!!
Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML
Nailed it
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML
Heat of the moment
Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML
Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML
Top comments
FMLYAY 0
you tried to hard..;(
Howljerk 0
Uh, girls have their minds speeding in different directions 24/7; girls are thinkers. I don't really think this is that bad.
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Comments (113)
rocky2289 0
maybe it involves sex? Title: Ancient Egyption Sex Positions (pictures below) of you guys in the position. maybe she has some messed up kinky fantasy about Egyptians doin it. take advantage of it!
FMLYAY 0
you tried to hard..;(
rocky2289 0
I did not :( I wanna post myself on a class project naked :(.
Shookitup 0
Ha nice :D
rocky2289 0
you've never wanted to just to see what everybody reaction would be xD?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I heard the Romans f*ck like gods
InDenial 6
Hey at least it wasn't a two word comment to get first! Not many of you out there. :D
iTaylor 0
I heard the Greeks do
CitrusGirl 0
I heard the Greeks and Romans f*ck endlessly. Praise be to Aphrodite!
berg54 0
Only problem is they practiced none stop sex with the same gender also... That kills it for me.
cactuspancake 0
better than constantly making babies!
I_lost_the_game 25
60- That's a little homophobic
KarinaLizeth18 5
hahaha OP you must be boring in bed xD
nikkibeez 0
it's honestly a little ridiculous for anyone to say that while having sex they think of only one thing... and that being the person you're sleeping with. completely false. anyone who thinks otherwise obviously has never been in a committed relationship, where you're no longer worrying if your makeup has smudged while doing "it".
dudeitsdanny 10
Well.. Thats actually when my mind doesnt wander. Sex with love blows my mind more. I'm usually thinking of her.. Or what she's doing.. Or what I need to do to her. You're missing out.
aliaskis 3
She might have been worrying about what her project would be. Maybe the deadline was approaching and she was stressed. Sometimes it's hard to shut down thought processes, or reroute them, if it's something that feels pressing. I wouldn't take it too personally unless it becomes a habitual issue that she can't focus on you in times of intimacy.
sourgirl101 29
Ummm I don't know about anyone else but I can "get off", make a to do list, plan my week, pat my head and rub my stomach ALL at the same time. Yes, my mind works that great!!! Multi-task FTW!
Howljerk 0
^ Try doing that with your wife of 10 years. You're not really being realistic. You are not everyone. If you CAN always do that - then props to you. If that is the case then you probably don't have much else to think, without assuming too much. I'm not entirely sure if that's a good or bad thing.
Howljerk 0
err that was @36
KarinaLizeth18 5
Hahahaha! for everyone in this thread I was OBVIOUSLY joking. Come on now guys. Stop being so literal, lighten up and find that sense of humor you lost when you hit puberty.
CitrusGirl 0
I think there's more humor after puberty. Unless you count humor as "HAHA she said poop!" and other immature things like that
KarinaLizeth18 5
By saying what I did, I meant humor where you don't over analyze and criticize everything. Children, to me, have a more free sense of humor because they don't judge the joke and pick at all the details, do you kinda see where I'm getting at? I feel like I'm not making sense, hahah! xD
dudeitsdanny 10
Nawh, I didn't have much else to think about. I'm sure stuff crossed my mind, but it wasn't my focus. Of course these past couple months are the first time I've been really stressed since high school, and I havent had sex since early September, soooo.... I'll let you know if I ever have sex again D:
DudeImBetter 0
52 I understand what you said, that was actually one of the many things that I've figured out while I was stoned. also 33 is bomb.
daminantion 14
49, "humor you lost when you hit puberty" sorry I have to comment; you basically say you havent hit puberty yet yourself. as for humor, clearly if it doesn't work on FML, it doesn't work anywhere :3
RaveBlade 4
You must be inspiring
doctor_J 0
OP, you're great at sex.
smokeymcpottt 3
Next time, tickle her butt-hole. Not unless her class project was on Ancient Greece.
AthinaMarie 0
haha niiiice x)
thatonekid2010 0
wow your life is so effed! (sarcasm)
Fall3nAngel 23
Oohh, if she gets an A. You should feel good:)
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
sorry bro, but for her to have something on her mind other than you while having sex?you must be pathetic or somethig. On the brightside, you gave her a time to find something for her project AND you felt good doing it.so, it's more of a win than a fml.
firemanrob 0
haha you must suck in bed lmao
Howljerk 0
Uh, girls have their minds speeding in different directions 24/7; girls are thinkers. I don't really think this is that bad.
chili10 18
I agree, no matter what I'm doing I can have random bursts of thoughts and inspiration.
dt520 4
thank you, common sense has entered the building. people make so much of any thought other than them during sex that its obvious they are more self absorbed than bad in bed. i come up with awesome ideas on the toilet but that doesn't mean i've forgotten about the deuce i came there to take care of.
iSitt 0
because the corpus collosum is thicker in women.
RedPillSucks 33
Because the two halves of men's brains never need to talk to each other :-)
LemonStarship 5
Just look forward to helping her on future projects wink wink.