Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
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Top comments
kg163401 0
I dub thee corpse ******
yazah 0
Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)
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Comments (404)
deprived13 3
lol not hittin that g spot.
Hammer940 7
that's what I call the dead fish. nothing worse than that.
jc9419 0
That just makes you as equal as a necrophiliac.
cetlawizard 15
maybe she squeals like a pig when she orgasms & doesn't want you to know... on the other hand, maybe she jilled off before you had sex & she's a single ****** kinda gal...if she has never gotten super wet or you've never felt her orgasmic contractions while inside her..then it's time to talk about leaving her before you end up with sexual/emotional problems that lead to E.D.
owen220 0
finish in her eyes to teach her a lesson!
coldsteel106 2
Maybe she can't cum from penetration. Try learning to use your tongue. If that fails just throw it in her ass and give her a donkey punch when you are about to cum. No sense in you not enjoying it at least.
watkins131 0
your dating a blow up doll?
derekahlers 4
you need to try different moves. she says you suck in bed
missmaryb 0
**** these twats that say it's your fault. Not everything can be blamed on the man. Your girlfriend just sucks in bed, period.
triggerit 5
change the partner!