Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
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Top comments
kg163401 0
I dub thee corpse ******
yazah 0
Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)
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Comments (404)
MagicMarker 0
I hate to have to tell you this, but that means that you suck in bed. Here's a novel idea: talk to your girlfriend, ask her what she likes, and then do it. Arrogantly focusing on nothing but your own pleasure is a huge, huge turnoff.
Cinn_fml 23
This one's simple; TALK TO HER! Granted, her way of engaging in sex (or hinting that she's not enjoying it as much as she could) isn't exactly the best way of going about it, and if she has a problem she should've talked to you rather than hoping you'd take the hint. But seriously, just talk to her about what she'd enjoy more and therefore should improve things.
bakemono_fml 14
yes, that's what happens when you buy yourself a blow up doll. you **** them, they don't move or make a sound
zombi3ki113r14 4
somebody is hung like a fly
sapphirenite 0
ummm, you both suck at sex!
bromode 0
then you are doing it right
CRiiSPY_fml 0
so basically she was reverse planking...?
St3WI3 0
well then
tattooedcowboy 6
she found something bettet haha
mrhept 0
well obviously u ain't doin something right!