Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today my girlfriend actually moved during sex. I love her, but she's so awful in bed. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
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Top comments
kg163401 0
I dub thee corpse ******
yazah 0
Try deflating her and then blowing her back up. :)
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Comments (404)
jmorin 0
put it in her butt. shell give you a reaction.
rjflores 0
check her pulse.
cberry427 8
put her on top next time or if all else fails boink her best friend she'll make some noise then for sure
robberry 11
You're obviously doing it wrong.
starbuck45420 0
she's doin someone else
Namenlos_fml 20
It's not OP's fault either way. Some women (men too) do just lie there, expecting the other to do all the work. As the old cliché goes: it takes TWO to tango. Have you ever tried dancing with a mannequin? It's tiring and unrewarding. If the lack of motion is due to bad performance she needs to bring it up. How do guys know for sure if they're bad without a discussion? They don't. Without communication, everyone loses.
RandOmPhyXiO 5
some girls just dont make noises
bigdaddy18 0
stick it in her but, she'll make a noise then
Egnar 19
Talk to her - Either you're doing something wrong or she doesn't understand that sex is a 2-way street. In either situation a healthy sex life counts on your communication.
Persephone1001 3
Try some positions where she has no choice but to do the moving, and you lie still. See how she likes it when the boot is on the other foot.