Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
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Top comments
llama_monicz 21
There's worse things, trust me
Shadowpartner 11
^ weekend snorted.
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Comments (54)
Seabass_Chan 33
Well, it's cheaper than the other white stuff.
Joefishonie 9
seman?
MissEris 27
Flour? Glue?
gm1beanzz 14
Cool whip? Sugar?
ArturoRamirez 16
White paint?
Girlshotdown1 21
Baking Soda?
shabadabba 14
Milk?
skippydoda 32
Your roommate sounds AMAZING!
gracehi 33
Amazingly stupid.
Shadowpartner 11
^ weekend snorted.
llama_monicz 21
There's worse things, trust me
twister45 17
Example please and be descriptive.
clemsi 20
48 Pixie Sticks...I've seen a few people snort them and the look of shock/pain they got was as if someone dropped kicked their puppy and then told them their grandma died.
twister45 17
Woa!
paravoz 30
one example could be grinding up dried sperm and snorting it?
poopsi 19
On the bright side at least it smells like marshmallows now.
ACommenter 7
Even if they were white marshmallows, I don't understand what your roommate was trying to achieve...
djm2010 8
I think you need to get some Hooked on Phonics or Muzzy DVDs because your literacy skills are seriously lacking. It clearly states his purpose in the FML.
MeltedMango 8
Well at least your roommate isn't snorting real cocaine then, right? You've got that going for you.
zeffra13 31
One of my friends snorted a pixie stick once. Though it was in high school, on a dare. I wouldn't doubt he'd do that drunk though
cooltatgar 31
I want some of what he's having
AmIReallyRenee 20
I second that
Soninuva 41
One of my friends that lived above me in the dorm once snorted kool-aid. She was crying for quite a while after.
DecisiveBull 9
Marshmallows? Please, that's kids stuff. You haven't lived until you've snorted rainbows.
chuka81 27
I snorted rainbows once, it made me blue then red, then green before I threw up a unicorn.
extrasnipes 22
Dont snort rainbows. look what happened to nyan cat.