Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with, "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife…" We all laughed, and then my partner said, "Boy, you got THAT right." FML
Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML
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Top comments
snizzlesnuzzle 0
it's yin and yang. not ying.
amerwin 3
Y'all are both losers.
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Comments (139)
Quest_ 13
inb4 "YTFDI FOR ATTEMPTING TO ENCOURAGE AFFECTION WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER YOU NEEDY BITCH"
Quest_ 13
My use of caps lock was clearly to convey the general tone of people who would be inclined to say such things. As denoted mostly by the quotation marks.
Zmeilerr 22
it's ok quest we still love you
restythestar 0
he was the "YIN" to my "YANG". it's Yin and Yang not Ying and Yang
WishResign 0
OP must be giving that good head then.
Zmeilerr 22
When is caps lock day?
Wirebiter 0
Or she's fat and wears dumb hats.
Xiuhcoatl 0
I registered on the website just to say that. Thank you for noticing it.
nickdaniels 0
Youve tried to submit 31 and gotten zero posted... FAIL!!
iluvlove 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well first of all, I think ying is female and yang is male.... Shouldn't it be he's the yang to your ying?
cparrenas 3
It's yin and yang. Not ying and yang.
RavenXRampage 1
THANK YOU 71!
kasumirock 13
You are completely retarded #2!
niiick97_fml 3
2 is right. Yin represents the earth, darkness, and female forces; and yang is light, heaven, and male forces. Daoism, my friends.
amerwin 3
Y'all are both losers.
mikejunior88 4
lmao #3
XelaKJK 0
agreed
sulhaq 4
you're the real loser for using y'all
fylbear 1
Excuse me, #29z Back up there. You want a side of epic with that fail? I think so. He is clearly from the south- And thats awesome. So, yet again, you fail. And Fyl for clearly not living in the south. *Sarcasm attack* Have a nice day yall, y'hear? (:
abc1231 2
ahahaha nice come back... but y'all can't call the op a loser... that's not nice guys...
amerwin 3
haha.. good looking out #35.
GTmustang07 0
#35 wins
taytay6510 6
says mullet guy
jok3r_l3tal 0
106 = win
jkgfdxb 0
lmao 106.
MissErikaHart 0
that's a good thing! I think....
snizzlesnuzzle 0
it's yin and yang. not ying.
goingsolo211 8
that's what I thought
wolfgold2 20
Yin Yang, Yo...
RedPillSucks 33
You're trying to be cute and are distraught that he responded by trying to be cute himself? You have different sense of humor. You might as well not get married to him if your humor bones are incompatible. FYL indeed. Sarcasm doesn't go well over the internet.
mouxouxou 11
Part of me agree with u because yess,she is not forced to mary him,but still,not all times are good,even for the sarcasm.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Sarcastic or not, I agree, RedPill. If she can't take his jokes, she should leave now and do them both a favor. If I said something that impossibly corny (and inaccurate) to my husband, I'd expect a lot worse than that as a comeback. We're not a "cute" sayings couple.
22cute 17
Guys it's possible that you are taking the FML entirely too seriously. I think a lot of women write in fml meanig "omg can u believe he would do such a thing?!" and not so much "my life is in the toilet"
megaaann_fml 9
not all women are like that, jerk.
mouxouxou 11
hahahahaha oh my gosh he is soooo romantic! :P
marinus_fml 20
It's funny because I don't get the Monica Lewinsky to Bill Clinton reference. Anyone want to fill me in?
Quest_ 13
I'll fill you in like Clinton did Monica's mouth.
crazedcabbages 0
She was in a sexual relationship with Bill Clinton. (:
dodgewama 0
Yeah well, its not only you.
sourgirl101 29
Cigar any one?
TSunshine 0
nice...
marinus_fml 20
Thank you Quest_ that gave me a real good laugh, and not such a good mental image. :)
CoronaR0na 0
hahahaha!!!!! oh family guy... damn Clinton
El_patron 0
ok do it 15 @ me
HomeAl0ne 20
Monica is actually the Count of Monte Cristo (give or take a vowel).
monkeybanana 7
she gave him a bj
g3rusz 6
Today, I had no sense of humor. FML.
evilcartman 0
every man needs a monica