Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
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Top comments
bobert258 0
ouch
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Take her to the local fire station and ask if she could use their pole. Practice makes perfect :)
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Comments (316)
Tacota 0
I would be more worried about my daughter wanting to be a stripper
The_Corrupter 0
what's wrong with being a stripper?
Freeze_fml 17
Nothing if you're an idiot.
The_Corrupter 0
just looking for the reasoning behind the comment
epoh_fml 0
Noone wants to imagine their little girl growing up to be the naked coked up ***** that makes drunk men cream their pants. Not sayin all strippers are like that, but the few I've met are :/
Tandrael 0
not all are that way my sister is a stripper she hate's every single moment of it but she needs the money
YDI_King 0
does this mean youre cheating or your wife's a stripper? either way YDI
CheshireHalli 19
Umm, this was posted by the wife. So she's neither cheating nor dating a stripper.
breeannarose 0
awww im sorry END THAT RELATIONSHIP LOL
iAlwaysYDI 0
ydi for. . .idk, just ydi.
Tacota 0
#37, nice way to be a ******
quikwit1212 0
And it's her fault because...? You should at least have a reason, and if you don't have one, don't post.
x_AbyssGazing_x 0
Look at the name... Just another troll. [=
1733817338 0
wow hes dating a stripper... she must be desperate
Tacota 0
....Its a woman. Her husband is cheating on her with a stripper.
faxe 0
Stripping is a very lucrative profession and it's all cash. Unless you'd rather she slog at burger king for $7 an hour.
Intoxicunt 6
Some people want their kids to, I don't know, MAKE SOMETHING of themselves. She's obviously young, so she could still be anything in the future - a scientist, a model, an astronaut, etc. Not everyone has to be a trashy shit to earn any money. There are more jobs out there than ***** and drug dealer.
faxe 0
The glass half empty meets the glass half full.
boopityboppity 11
I think the glass is just two times too big.
Ascaryrobot 0
Haha, Intox, there's nothing wrong with being a stripper. And mentioning model next to astronaut and scientist really shoots down your point. Models are just the same as strippers, the only difference is that one gets paid for taking clothes the other gets paid for showing off clothes.
fudrick 0
That's like saying a bank robber and a cop are the same thing; the only difference is one gets paid to steal money and one gets paid to stop people from stealing money. Probably not the best example but hopefully you see how your comment was somewhat ridiculous.
nyc718 0
That you can be anything when you grow up saying is crap. I always wanted to be a transformer when I grew up... Guess what i'm not now that i'm an adult
Ascaryrobot 0
Except you completely missed the point. I'm not even going to explain it, I hope in time you will come to realise just how far you were off the mark.
StygianAgenda 0
Grr... All hail Megatron!!!
aardvarkish 17
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heartbrokenemo 0
How did she know? Did your husband bring her with him?
garuru 4
the wife u idiots