Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bobert258 0
ouch
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Take her to the local fire station and ask if she could use their pole. Practice makes perfect :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (316)
Free_Hugs10 0
Well I'm glad you said "we're still married." Which hopefully means you won't be for much longer. Terrible way to find out though.
Elmo8mehwaffles 0
Wow that pic looks hideous xD.
Free_Hugs10 0
Thank you :)
Snow_Daisy 7
#106 that was rude and very uncalled for... Shame on you.
Quest_ 13
106 is pathetic.
mmmazingmary 0
I don't get it?
The_Corrupter 0
a woman (OP) is married and has a young daughter (assumed to be young). the woman's husband's girlfriend is a stripper and now the OP's duaghter wants to be one, too.
The_Corrupter 0
*daughter
snuck1 0
she's gonna dance and do innapropriate stuff for guys
blackirish44 0
Then your probably the girlfriend.
BannedStory 0
god you look hot. those b cups?
stef108 3
thanks..I was confused too! lol
fred1rav 0
In Soviet Russia, strippers eat you
aardvarkish 17
awesome
The_Corrupter 0
i wish...
crazycornn 0
like
MadaZer0 8
Ha! Aw that sucks man... Teach her a lesson! or pimp her out either way is win~
BritishHobo 0
Depends how young your daughter is. This could easily be a mistake. If she's too young to understand relationships and... strippers, then she could just be confused. If not, FYL. Sorry :(
Tedet 0
is the FML that his daughter wants to be a stripper, or that he called his wife his girlfriend?
Intoxicunt 6
#22, dummy, the FML is that the husband is CHEATING on her with a STRIPPER. Insult to injury is that the daughter looks up to this *****. God, I didn't realize it was that hard to understand.
rhanana 0
yeah I didn't understand at first until I realized op was a women >_<
MadaZer0 8
Oh, I get it now~
fudrick 0
How did your hair grow so fast, Intoxicunt? o.O
ImaginaryFoe 1
The only thing I don't understand is why daddy would have his little girl meeting the gf. Who the hell trusts a kid with a secret like infidelity?
XDNurse 0
wat better lazy way to break it to her?
deadsrs 0
Maybe you're daughter hates you and has thus decided to refer to you as both "daddys girlfriend" and "a stripper".... nah just kidding your husband is cheating on you!
aardvarkish 17
at dinner, I would say, "Tell daddy what you want to be when you grow up..."
Free_Hugs10 0
LOL. That would be great!
BritneyBiohazard 0
Hahah. OP, do itt.! [:
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Perfect :]
KurouTenshi 0
@ #25 xD you beat me to it! ahaha
AngryNinja 1
hehe.. i pictured op's hubby trying to lie his way out of that one. >:}
KurouTenshi 0
oh he'll be working on that one for months--from the doghouse :D
Rosalie_Haostn 0
oh that's genius!
AngryNinja 1
true dat, 64. 'i don't know what she's talking about! i took her to the meat store.. she's talking about the meat-stripper! yeah, that's it! *nervous sweat*' heh.
KurouTenshi 0
LOL @#74 "No, see, me and the guys were talking about our past girlfriends, and she was passing by getting a glass of water--if anything it's her fault for not being already in bed!" *awkward silence as he realizes he's effed*
AngryNinja 1
win! "what do you mean you burned my clothes?! where's my car?!"
Justmylife122 0
That suks
RIKANA 0
oh no! that's not good. RI
twistedavalon06 0
pity.