Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Sunny_Eclipse 6
That guy is obviously a noob in the biking world.
anorexicbarbie 8
Everytime I hear caravan I think of Cass from FNV.... I need to get out more.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (173)
BuffaloSabres134 8
Bikers are pretty nice when your very far away from them
horneyhic 15
Look before u walk idiot
BuffaloSabres134 8
Damn right
kpanda 1
Wth is a dumpster doing in the middle of the street?
BIEBERSLAYER 10
I don't get it.
bizarre_ftw 22
I'm gonna say this comment will be hidden for too many negative votes, Just so I can say "called it" later!
ShaundraLikeWhoa 0
I don't get it either.
codbloodedkill3r 0
Lol he was a "Fag" Lol from south park
ajbaby311 5
Damn
IndigoAcrylic 9
Blowhard? ;0 xD
Stonedmanalex 0
Yeah the biker perfectly deserved to if someone almost made me crash, I would beat the shit out of them
bizarre_ftw 22
26 - *muffled laughter* canadian ^_^
bizarre_ftw 22
26 - lol canadian ^_^
cufaoil 11
right, because any road user is going to be all calm and concerned for the person who almost made them crash due to their own stupid, jaywalking actions...
cufaoil 11
says the guy who looks like he's boozed up you would also be talking to another biker, dumbass
ReynshineCutting 10
And I'm a biker's fiancé and another biker's daughter. Neither of them fit the stereotype and neither of then would be violent. I'm the one you'd have to worry about if I was on the back with my fiancé and you nearly made us crash. I'd rip your ******* head off (and I fit the cowgirl stereotype, not the biker one).
HolyHandGrenade 4
That's why jaywalking is illegal you damned dirty ape.
xrainbowshadowx 17
You asked for it. And honestly, I have nothing wrong with people jaywalking but try watching for the vehicles coming.
Sumalum 7
holy ****! 0 confirmed out of 80 posted??? damn.
mmorgan9218 5
stereotype much?