Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML
Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML
Today, I was texting while riding my bike (yes, I know, terrible idea). I crashed right into a lamppost, and, even worse, a woman walking by laughed and asked, "Did you just text yourself into that pole?" I just laid there hoping for the ground to swallow me up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Alymiller 18
Hey on the bright side you're getting a workout in
wanted_2_want 40
Surely that was a hell of an incentive to move your ass faster.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (35)
Alymiller 18
Hey on the bright side you're getting a workout in
wanted_2_want 40
Surely that was a hell of an incentive to move your ass faster.
Axel5238 29
While that sucks and it's mean making fun of someone in better shape than you rarely ends well . He was biking and probably in good shape if he could catch up with you. YDI
TomPusslicker 21
OP didn't say they even responded to the other persons insults. They were being insulted and then were delighted by the fact that the biker ran into a post. Who wouldn't feel a great amount of satisfaction seeing that? OP did nothing wrong and in no way do they deserve to be chased down by an obnoxious asshole.
iMuffinKat 16
I'm pretty sure you read the post wrong. OP was the one being made fun of, until the bully hit a post. THEN she laughed. The bully deserved a YDI. OP gets an FML, since the bully chased her/him for laughing at him.
DrafteeSelf 24
Karma hit him back! Dont worry OP, he's an asshole
lexos 16
Invest in some headphones so you can ignore douchbags like him
fde2blknimout 18
Id of beat his ass or got beat. Either way hes leaving hurt
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Well, I mean, you got a good laugh and a work out. Both equally healthy. Right? On a serious note though; I'm sorry you got made fun of OP. That douche-waffle deserved to hit every damn street lamp in his path.
Stazza11 27
Keep up the good fitness work, karma bit that A-hole hard! ^__^
GrumpyGrinch 23
Well, you saw Karma in action and had a good exercise. And he didn't even catch you. Hi5!
anonymous2222222 3
Sorry to the biker (not really), but you know, karma is a b*tch. Don't dish it out if you can't take it.