Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
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Top comments
Hammer1722 19
Look on the bright side OP, you didn't crash!
VoldooPed 20
Taste good?
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Comments (52)
Hammer1722 19
Look on the bright side OP, you didn't crash!
VoldooPed 20
Taste good?
gobiteme2 34
Just like chicken.
LilMissCanadian 22
Did you swallow a spider? And then a bird? And then a cat?
may14th 26
And usually it's the motorcycle drivers acting like assholes on the road
VoldooPed 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You're quite good looking, #3
Queen_bee1234 21
#5 Do you need some water for that thirst?
Lalala579121 28
Well OP did honk and yell at a bug, so that's at least acting a little bit like an asshole.
Levi2411 41
Really? I'd have to disagree with that one. Vehicle owners are much more inclined to be assholes on the road. They can be assholes all they want in their clunk of metal. Then we have motorcycle drivers, where one wrong turn and moment of road rage off-balance, and they're going to eat the pavement.
Badkarma4u 17
Really, I've never seen a guy on a motorcycle, text, eat, sleep, read a book, put on makeup, shave, tie his tie, get a *******, flash a trucker, jerk off, fish around on the floor for somethibg he dropped, yell at his kids, or watch a movie while driving.
Mons_fml 27
Look on the bright side OP, free nutrience!
fpants2010 18
Nutrients*
Mons_fml 27
Aw, dang it!
cacheson 42
Mmmm, protein!
Wizardo 34
Those censorship sounds are evolving into buzzes now.
Lalala579121 28
Am I the only one who finds the wording of that second sentence really weird? The wording makes it sound like OP honked and swore because of the bug flying into their mouth.
katertott 44
That's exactly how I read it. It's confusing.
izntdan 14
Sounds like he really bugged you
hutchinsons2 8
If you had been wearing a full face helmet like you should have been, you wouldn't have swallowed a bug. YDI.
KayDee29 31
Yup. I 100% agree.
allforfun 23
I agree as well
Adam_Power58 16
Just some bad look which you want to forget Hey Atleast you didn't crash or anything worse