Assumptions
Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Top comments
fatblackguy 3
asshat
FruityLoooons 8
Hah. Shitehawk. Anyway, why are people solving things by being impulsively aggressive, nowadays? Geez.
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Comments (230)
fatblackguy 3
asshat
DooleyFTW 17
Asshat? Shitehawk? What kind of ridiculous expressions do you Americans use these days? Those are two of the most stupid names I have ever heard in my life!
EvilLilCupcake 10
Not in American. It says United Kingdom.
ladyLALAA 29
I think "asshat" is hilarious! As for "shithawke" wtf, please explain?
cosmosis 12
Give 12 a break. His profile says he's Irish...
JurassicHole 5
Nice assumption there, 12, always good to throw a little un-needed prejudice in the mix. This is another example of bullshit on the moderators part for an FML. This is obviously the OP's fault and just because he's acting like a victim it's posted on here. Seriously, is this FML or is this the "YDI site"?
Jonkbaby 23
@12: says "Dooley"
DooleyFTW 17
I looked at the last post and thought this poster was American, regardless those are the two most ridiculous expressions I've ever heard. And Dooleys a name not an expression like "shitehawk"
Jonkbaby 23
ha, respect for responding. Dooley is a good name, just giving ya crap
Viciousstorms 7
12 - Do you like assburger? Asspirate? There's ass a lot of things.
wisese 0
Dooley, your life has been short yet. You'll hear far more interesting and colorful names than those, I promise you.
DooleyFTW 17
40 - believe me I've heard plenty of colourful expressions during 18 years in Ireland. I merely said those were the most ridiculous
ScaughtieHolden 11
*Aspergers. Idiot.
wironandine 8
Yeah asshat is probably the worst insult ever
jonriise18 3
53 - I'm pretty sure #39 was not referring to the mild form of autism known as Aspergers. But merely thinking up other weird names you could possibly call someone combining the word ass with basically any random word you can think of. Idiot.
DocBastard 40
Dooley - **** you for making a generalisation about Americans, and **** you again for trying to defend it because YOU misread something. You ****** up royally, so own up to it, cockface.
blackheart24 10
Haha can you imagine having an asshat? Does anyone else find the possibility of wearing a butt shaped hat ****** hilarious because I think it would be quite possibly the funniest thing ever. "Hey, what's that you're wearing?!" "Oh this? It's my new asshat. Yeah, just picked it up yesterday from the ass store." Bahahaha
astralvagan 20
If you look, dipshit, OP is from the UK..... Not America......
Marcelb 17
57 - it's a south park reference.
jkamme54 2
Yeah! Asswipe
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
This is why there are wars.
tjv3 10
You sir are a MORON
carioki34 7
Asshat
Driveshaft 5
K, I know asshat, I'm guessing shitehawk is a version of shitbird...but...what's a flash car?
kittySplash 0
Ass hats funny
astralvagan 20
Maybe next time...... Look before you just assume...... Might save you some face!
cosmosis 12
"Because when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me"
RamenForTheWin 10
#27 That's really funny! I remembered a picture I saw of that and was about to post it... Great minds think alike!
FruityLoooons 8
Hah. Shitehawk. Anyway, why are people solving things by being impulsively aggressive, nowadays? Geez.
ManlyDunsparce 3
So, it may be because I live in The States, but what does he mean by flash car?
mattorama 15
People think being offended for the sake of other people makes them righteous.
jkamme54 2
It's flash card. Not flash car
ImaginaryFoe 1
Isn't this fairly common slang in the states, too? I guess it's usually said as "flashy"?
Jdog619 11
I have never hear either "flash car" or "shitehawk" ever in my life...
ryanisexy 5
I hate ignorant people who be smartasses and then realise they're jackasses.
astralvagan 20
I hate when people use improper English.
boomhauer18 3
I hate people like you!!
Pelreskovich 11
Boom, roasted.
jonriise18 3
Office reference?
MikeD321 1
I hate people who say they hate people And I'm a hypocrite
jkamme54 2
Boom! Toasted Sorry I'm healthy! :(
emvictoria 9
I'm sorry, but people like this piss me of, you can't just assume someone isn't handicapped . Get things straight before you say stupid things, because I'm sure handicapped people feel shit enough with out people making there life even worse.
cosmosis 12
I agree. Some people just look to shit stir i reckon.... Im deaf. And some old hag had a go at me for having my radio up too loud in a carpark. Some people just dont get it!
david12z 0
If your deaf why is you radio on? Sorry if that's insensitive
redbluegreen 41
I might be mistaken, but not everyone who is deaf is 100% deaf and may at some volumes still be able to enjoy music. My aunt, who has been deaf since she was five, still plays music for the vibrations.
jonriise18 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#5 - Just curious. Do you mean they piss you OFF? And, people shouldn't be making THEIR life worse?
misvenus000 4
Not everyone who is handicapped have self pity an hate their lives. There are plenty of handicapped people who respect themselves and appreciate what they have.
KelBelAndNats 7
And not every handicapped person actually looks sick. Some people may look perfectly fine but the medical issues they have justifies them using a disabled parking space. Don't judge on what you THINK you see OP because you never know what someone is experiencing, even if it was obvious in this case.
HannahWho 8
My friend looks completely normal but has been losing bone mass for the past ten years. She is going to die a painful death from it. Someone gave her shit the other day because, "You're so pretty and skinny, how could you know what it's like to have a painful life!? What the hell do pretty people know about the suffering of others." I nearly slapped that bitch. It was over my friend telling the woman she could not have the motorized wheelchair she was using at the store. I was like, um hello, my friend can barely walk!
MrsPegg 45
Same is true for myself. I'm handicapped, but you'd never know by just looking at me. I totally understand why I get the strange looks when I park in a handicapped space, but until the day comes where I can transfer my ailments to another human being, people are left to judge me and assume that they know what I go through on a daily basis... When you have a life altering ailment you don't pout and moan- you stay strong and live life, because you refuse to let the disease/disorder win.
MissHayleyJames 7
Same with my stepmom. I bitched out a lady at Disney World once because my stepmom was on an electric scooter since her back is totally destroyed, and the lady was bitching about lazy people who use the scooters to cut in line for rides. My stepmom looks totally normal, but her back is so screwed up she can't lay down flat or her legs go numb so she sleeps in a recliner. And when I say sleeps, I mean broken dozing off maybe getting 3 hours max a night. Her life is shit but people just think since she looks normal there's nothing wrong.
cosmosis 12
44- not totally deaf. I can hear it at volume. Not insensitive at all, curiousity calls to ask questions:)
its_so_ironic 5
I have a disability that means I cant walk without pain and extensive periods of walking are impossible for me even though I don't look any different! Whenever my parents park in a disabled spot everybody just stares at you and expects you to crawl out of the car! I even once had an elderly woman shout at me on a bus for being "a selfish little bitch" for not giving her a seat, I had to explain in front of a bus full of people that I'm not lazy and my knees dislocate when I stand up for more than 10 minutes! I really hate people that just judge you before they know you!
Jennielee 6
Very true! I'm disabled and in a wheelchair and one time when My 3year old son was having his 14th life saving surgery at the Children's Hospital my husband went downstairs to get my bag, because we'd be there for a week, when he was stopped These people questioned why he was in the handicapped parking spot. He politely said my wife is in a wheelchair upstairs with my son. Just then my sister in law went downstairs to help him. They looked at him, called him a liar then just stated at him You don't know what's going on or what people are going thru so don't assume anything.
downtime 13
28, The radio thing is a little different, because you're actually disturbing everyone else to do something that technically you don't really have to.
RomanBeauty 0
It's funny that people without disabilities assume handicapped people feel like shit because they are handicapped. They live their lives with the same emotions we do! Right?
cosmosis 12
195- true, its not the same as the other people on here who have real disabilities, yet some "asshats" see fit to question theyre right to disability benefits. Im not arguing that my point is the same because its really not. The point i was trying to make is theres a right way about questioning someone about it. For example. In my case it was not polite for the lady to come up to the window and ask if i was "******* deaf".
downtime 13
198, That is also true, however in 99.9% of cases it would simply be a case of immature idiots with their radios blaring because they think it's cool. She was just unlucky enough to be confronted with someone who actually had hearing problems. As there is really no way for her to know - unlike in a disabled car park - it was a case of foot in mouth that really wouldn't be an issue in all other situations.
sycosyd_97 1
#5 I completely agree:)
xNephilim 19
My Spanish teacher is in her early 50s and has had her hip replaced twice.. Which makes her handicapped. She told us plenty of times how much crap people would give her for it. It's ridiculous, really.
PYLrulz 17
Flash Car?!? I'm assuming it's some British term for a sports car or such?
BountyBass 13
and shitehawk sounds like an Irish slang
PYLrulz 17
Well I don't think it would take an Irishman to figure that last bit of slang out. I just never heard of the term Flash Car, at least over here in America.
Ins0mau 20
Flash=fancy and/or expensive
PYLrulz 17
Ok, that makes sense thinking out it.
Jonkbaby 23
car powered by USB?
NoxiousNorwegian 5
You make me giggle.
lightburns 10
I knew that everyone would be going lolwut at 'shitehawk' (I'm English and have never heard of the expression - according to urbandictionary, it is an Irish term). But 'flash car'? You guys don't say 'flash car'?? Oh wow.
JosherMan 0
We say fancy, sporty, expensive, or exotic.
The_Be4r 3
Yes, because going up to someone and being agressive and insulting from the start is a good way to get your message through. If only more people knew....o, wait.....
ImDB8 0
Maybe next time you speak American English
flea_of_death 23
Oh my god. The stupidity level of this fml makes me sick...I wish I could find you and slap you...not everyone parks perfectly, get over it, Mr. head up his ass.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Wow. This whole FML went riiiight over your head.
jkw11d 8
hopefully you didn't use the cussing vocabulary you used to write this fml
redbluegreen 41
Because using typical swear words is so much more sophisticated.
MineIsBigger 5
**** yeah
boarderbabe 2
haha hopefull!