Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
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Top comments
Sunny_Eclipse 6
That guy is obviously a noob in the biking world.
anorexicbarbie 8
Everytime I hear caravan I think of Cass from FNV.... I need to get out more.
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Comments (173)
mnkyc_mnkydo 5
I think its an fml for him. Some douche bag (you) walks in front of him when hes on his motorcycle and he has to swerve nearly running into a dumpster so as not to hit, you then you giggle at him after the could have been seriously injured because couldn't look both ways before crossing the street. How is this an fml for you?
un1corns 15
How is this an FML? You were being a jackass
denvan 0
He should've ran you over biker Vs jaywalker aka dumb-ass
cufaoil 11
biker vs jaywalker? biker is more than likely going to come off their bike...
cufaoil 11
Today, I was out on my bike, when some asshole almost caused me to crash by jaywalking. When I berated them for breaking the law and almost causing an accident, all they did was start to giggle. ******' kids. FML
azDbleJ 0
Wait, how is this an FYL?! Shouldn't it be F His Life? Unless an empty beer can being thrown at you is so devastating.
1badws6 0
Don't worrie bro he is just a weekend warrior not a real biker.
CkMystic 0
John green fan?
omg_itssally 0
I hate jaywalkers. YDI.
brianjman14 23
Oh wow, an empty beer can. THAT must have hurt like ****. /sarcasm
Beck2209 0
I wish he hit you. Then, he would have giggled.
BelleBelle_fml 11
66- The ****...?