Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
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Top comments
Sunny_Eclipse 6
That guy is obviously a noob in the biking world.
anorexicbarbie 8
Everytime I hear caravan I think of Cass from FNV.... I need to get out more.
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Comments (173)
Slimma 20
Wait a minute... hold on. Let me get this right. Now... you were in the wrong for jaywalking. Correct? And the guy on the motorcycle almost wrecked cause you were in the wrong. BUT he is a blowhard for being pissed that YOU almost caused him to wreck and he threw an empty beer can at you? So yeah... this is def his fault. he should have... oh my goodness... you are an idiot. You completely deserve it. That's all there is to it.
SlaveToRetail 10
Hmm, no. Maybe if you read the FML right, you'd figure out that by the guy on the bike yelling at OP, he wasn't paying attention, and in HIS OWN fault almost hit a dumpster. I hope Admin shut the comments down, because it seems to bring out the knuckle-draggers who can't read anything correct then harass someone over something that could be totally NOT their fault. YOU are the idiot, good sir.
pogostick_fml 2
#116 What are you talking about? Seems like Slimma got it right to me. I have no idea where you got this "he wasn't paying attention" nonsense.
leadman1989 16
Op must be ke$ha, YDI for being a pimple on humanities retina.
phil68w 5
If that was me on my bike I woulda run your ass over
cherryleaf23 7
LOL....wow.
ReynshineCutting 10
And again to destroy the stereotype, there are tons of Harley owners who don't fit it. My Dad's a CEO and has a Harley in the garage. My fiancé (who doesn't have one yet but will one day, though he has a Vulcan now) DEFINITELY doesn't fit the stereotype. I would say it's more 30+% of Harley owners don't fit the biker stereotype.
Jaxx66 21
-66 have you gotten out of kindergarten yet? Sheesh...
MareNostrum 0
A blowhard? That made me giggle.
Jaxx66 21
Actually they aren't. When I was young my parents car broke down while we were on a road trip. These bikers (about 20 of them) pulled around our car. I was totally terrified. Turns out they helped us with our car and let me ride on one of their bikes with them when they were done. And we went to get food while waiting for the car. Thank you Hell's Angels :) nice biker gang.
maxfulks 2
bikers aren't usually bad. we just want the same respect as everyone else.
snakerake 10
how is this an FML? it's just funny