Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
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Top comments
Sunny_Eclipse 6
That guy is obviously a noob in the biking world.
anorexicbarbie 8
Everytime I hear caravan I think of Cass from FNV.... I need to get out more.
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Comments (173)
jessthebest3 0
...Really? I KNOW bikers. And the bikers I know, eat corn pops for breakfast and and are bestfriends with everyone they meet. Think before you post. Not all bikers are like that.
Misschief 2
Fml? This is an fsboaml. **** some blowhard on a motorcycle's life. Oh no, an empty beer can got thrown at you. That's obviously much worse than someone running you into a dumpster and the
thiscrazything 1
Don't jaywalk
AmericanRedcoat 6
when life gives you lemons, make orange juice, sit back, and let the world wonder how you did it!
oops_im_fucked 8
Ohhhhhh I see the FML, the biker almost crashed instead of just running op down and keeping the world safe from j-walkers.
cuppiecakes14 0
what is jaywalking?
PunkkRockk 7
Not using a crosswalk to cross the street.
cheba_fml 3
Your so lucky that was not me, it would been alot worse!
BarrelChick 0
I don't get it??
loryetta 0
Next time, don't jaywalk. You'll get hit eventually. Stop being a jackass
Jbrooks3424 0
I love jaywalking!!!!