Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML
Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML
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Top comments
Sunny_Eclipse 6
That guy is obviously a noob in the biking world.
anorexicbarbie 8
Everytime I hear caravan I think of Cass from FNV.... I need to get out more.
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Comments (173)
smirnoff1695 0
Yeah really, I personally would not just stand there and have something thrown at me. But hey everyone has their own way of reacting to stuff.
Neorecon19 18
Definitely MLIA material.
riotbby 0
Here's a tip...watch more carefully when jay walking or don't do it!
goodgood_fml 5
Lucky you're not in Dallas. We would have run you over AND KEPT GOING!!! Our bike/car/van would be at the body shop THE NEXT MORNING!
ltsune 3
Never laugh at a jerk Ion a motorcycle - never!
cookies666 0
Blow hard
tripwik 7
Blowhard? Caravan? Dumpster in the middle of the street?Am I the only one completely confused by all this? If you watch where your going so will he, in my opinion the real FML would have been if he had hit you.
minaa23 3
he sounds like a major douche. D=
delfino1604 24
maybe next time you don't step out in front of a bike :)
soiheardyoufaile 4
Nope I'd be sensible, and realise I'm not inbred, next question?