Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
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Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.
ariannaimelda 7
He could just wipe them off?
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Comments (150)
Tookie22 5
Rip the sheets off and get it on like wild animals. While crumbs on a bed really annoy me; what dude passes up on some quality "bonding" time? :P
cubancgar 0
I would have collected the crumbs, had sex with ya, then once I finished, poured all the crumbs on you and make you eat them off the bed. Lol jk but I still would have had sex with ya regardless.
abastard 3
Would you like crumbs on your bed? No, so shut it.
belo_fml 0
If he wont, I sure will.
Campbec001 0
Brotip: bitches don't eat sandwiches, they make them for bros. You wouldn't have gotten crumbs in the bed if you knew that.
itsbarbiebitchh 0
That's why god made kitchen tables,& floors
BumbleRoo 0
Bed crumbs suck but I know my boyfriend could never say no to me
daniellestatt 0
BITCH WERES MY SAMMICH D:< !?!?!
zippythechimp 6
Bet he's against eating anything in bed send him packing
makevelli187 0
What a fag, I'd have sex in a dumpster if the chick was hot enough haha