Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.
ariannaimelda 7
He could just wipe them off?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (150)
stewy78 2
Uh, he didn't have sex with you because you didn't make him a sandwich...greedy bitch.
nicko_oz 4
I ******* hate it when people eat food in the bed it makes it feel dirty like a dog put dirt in it or sand is in it. You pretty much have to completely change all the sheets to get rid of it so serves you right.
JoeD87 0
You can eat whatever you want in my bed ;)
xkristinannx 0
He's punishing you. Isn't that a woman's job?
painkiller3666 4
Is he A ******?
xSexyBeastx69 0
Hes obviously gay.
meperson77 1
Well duh, its like sleeping on sand!
angalths 1
I'd be pretty pissed if my girlfriend ate sandwich in my bed too.
helloirony 4
Probably shouldn't have eaten in bed, fatty.
TeenTitan 0
What a douchbag :