Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I stood up at my desk and fell. I landed on the arm of my desk chair. There was a loud crack when the plastic in the chair broke. My co-workers heard. They didn't come to check on me because I didn't scream. FML
Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML
Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
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Top comments
HoorayForFML 0
What an awkward thing to shout upon hurting yourself. O_o
ydi_bitch 0
YDI for having sex with the chair
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Comments (70)
HoorayForFML 0
What an awkward thing to shout upon hurting yourself. O_o
mmmyeahsaraa 0
lmao i scream that all the time when i hurt myself =0
CrackhouseDoug 0
Why doesn't anyone here on FML actually bother to tell their neighbour what's going on rather than misleading them on purpose? FML has become so monotonous recently.
Aeval_Fae 0
#8 was right; shouting "oh **** ME" is completely different and not all that weird when you hear it aloud. I say that all the time, either that or "**** me sideways!" which is another thing that looks weird but really isnt.
xNatsuki 0
If you know this site then you should've yelled "**** MY LIFE" instead.
dotsdesu 0
You should have told your neighbour: "**** ME, **** YOU"
MyzticHydra 0
i agree pretty awkward to say the me part i heard "oh ****" but never fallowed with a me seems unnatural to say it with the me i say "damn it" "holy shit" "oh ****" or "SHEETTT!!!"
hat_fml 0
That's just hilarious... but fyl for the gash.
Stefany713 0
I prefer going with the classic "Aaaahhh! Kelly Clarkson!!" Lol
fmlallneveryday 0
Wow, that really sucks!
cocobulla1 4
omg what is up with ur pic???? lmao
aklm15 14
That's what she said! :D
turbosexophonic 0
who the hell yells "oh **** me"
tinyphreak 0
It's not "oh **** me", it's "oh **** ME"... there's a difference.
13Lina97 0
your mom does.
divaboots 8
lol epic.
ydi_bitch 0
YDI for having sex with the chair
jjenniferr05 0
LMAO.
Harry_Poochi 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aodpb3vFU0
dayrin7 4
haha I did that too! I was in class and my work got deleted on the computer soo i yelled **** me! lmfao the class was silent so everyone heard me everyone stared laughing...well not the teacher. lol
loserboii 11
did u yell it or say it kinky like..?
OMGitsKaleyxo 0
hahaa i get it[: lol no shit but whatever. can ur neighbors really hear u yelling in ur house? ur houses must be pretty close.
Zeke4448 0
Your neighbor doesn't know what sex sounds like!
oh_mi_shizzle 0
lmao! I always scream when I get hurt or I'm pissed or something hahahaha OP, you made ne laugh, thanks. :)