Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
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Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.
ariannaimelda 7
He could just wipe them off?
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Comments (150)
iAmScrubs 19
The important thing is that you enjoyed the sandwich.
OcampoFTW 4
I love you, you're the best on FML
schaflava 0
The sad thing is he didn't enjoy hers.
sparklemuffin 8
bitch, make me a sandwich
JazVeiga 1
you should have made another sandwich and gotten back in his bed ahaha
plasmicmac 6
sounds like you really made... ...a mess of things. YEEAAAHHHHHH!!!!
nikitaaomg 0
lul. meme refrence.
KyriosX 1
Lol csi reference...
aFatFuck 0
What a......... .... crummy situation AAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW YYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
No_habla_espanol 11
Lol @ your picture fitting the comment.
No_habla_espanol 11
Lol @ your picture fitting the comment 78.
Lipsforbiting 7
He sounds like a total girl to me.
loveexgirl 15
I wonder if he made that sandwich for her.
Melissa92_fml 13
A girl? Hey I wouldn't give up sex for a few crumbs on my bed! Like everyone else is saying, just sweep them off.. He's a fool
nikitaaomg 0
you should'va made HIM the sandwich. like a good woman.
iAmScrubs 19
Ahaha, I find stupid, outdated, old, not funny, never will be funny jokes like this very hilarious......Not.
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
...
SteelSoul5 9
Meh
relyo 0
He did that because his boyfriend is always much more tidy when he stays over.
regsworld11 2
Sorry wrong comment.
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
No **** -X-
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
So my comment gets Moderated. SmD.
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
No ****! :D
regsworld11 2
His bed... His rules!
simplylost643 0
Exactly right. Such a simple concept, yet completly ignored by so many. Thank you!
lowl1f3 5
Ohhhh Yaaaa! Who eats in their bed anyway?
milou_fml 6
it seems like you have better chemistry with that sandwich
AFuckinCrocodile 6
Why the **** would you eat his sandwich?!?!?!
regsworld11 2
She made it for herself. That explains why SHE ate it.
faithxoxox 1
She was trying to inspire him to eat her sandwich by eating his first. (;