Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
"If you see a man or woman running down the street at full speed completely naked and in terror, run with that person because you have no idea what is coming from the other direction."
Gidget772001 0
she's crazy!!!
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Comments (153)
zippit09 0
trollll
llAllStarll 0
tbh I came
yeahreally 6
LMFAOOOO lol just consider it a story if you have kids XD
totes_sucks 0
With his mother? You, madam, disgust me.
J4cks0n 0
This is not funny...
angrynegro7 16
You tried to make her go to rehab but she said "NO, NO, NO!"
samantha_durano 6
lol, I love your mom.
purplemnm 9
holy shit that same thing happened this morning with my neighbors...I'm in Missouri...should we be worried about this becoming an epidemic?
WhatIsWithHate55 0
Well, atleast she isn't going door to door!
marquisallover 0
your life really is awful i mean you should of just left her alone and let her be the town fool
hedgehogs 0
Next time, don't follow her. Let her run. If you must do something, call the police or better yet, don't give her even that reinforcement and wait for someone else to do it. I had two alcoholic parents. You can't take care of them. They are going to do what they are going to do, and you'll miss your own life. Al-Anon was helpful for me for a while; a lot depends IMO in getting the right group. My view of this problem is essentially what you are likely to hear if you attend: Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Don't try to save them; that's like trying to move a beach with a teaspoon and a colander.