Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
"If you see a man or woman running down the street at full speed completely naked and in terror, run with that person because you have no idea what is coming from the other direction."
Gidget772001 0
she's crazy!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (153)
pfunk129 1
pictures or it never happened
eeeeeeee 5
Pictures or you don't exist.
AngryNinja 1
does that make you a green square? just sayin'.
KurouTenshi 0
that's effing hilarious! when can I expect to find that on YouTube? I'll give that bitch 5 Stars and 2 thumbs way up her popper!
KurouTenshi 0
damnit iPhone I meant "pooper" D:
bigpapi210 0
she shouldn't drink if she can't handle her alcohol. but then she may be going just crazy.
blastvortex 4
Why didn't you just let her get arrested? That would be the best thing you could do for her at this point (other than getting her help). Then again, some people only learn the hard way.
Odjit 0
This made my day. I love you for posting this.
Igor_g5 0
Is your mom hot? Or scary?
m00r5tuD 0
Canada sounds awesome
Nissi 17
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha, they're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha, to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time..
Odjit 0
That's such a good song ..
omgwtffmmfl 0
Isn't a lil cold in Alberta to be running around naked?
carebrear224 0
that is halirousq