Today, my nose finally unblocked after a week of having a cold. Now all I can smell is the disgusting stench of my husband's pits. We've argued three times already about his refusal to shower more than once a week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, my boyfriend has only showered about three times since we’ve been on lockdown. Our whole place smells like a sewer main burst in a pro-sports locker room filled with sweaty nut sacks and dead feet. His excuse? "It’s not like we have anywhere to go babe." I can’t even eat around him. FML
Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Today, my husband is going on his fifth consecutive day without a shower. He’s been working 16-hour shifts, and though I'm empathetic to his exhaustion, his foul body odor has overtaken the bedroom, and his excretions have discolored his side of the bed. I fear the worst. FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, I realized my morbidly obese, sweaty sibling is the source of a strange waft I've been smelling when I get home. He'll only shower once a week, so the apartment and furniture smell like sweat and sometimes poo, especially on hot days. I didn't notice until I went outside and stepped back in to follow my nose. FML
Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
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Top comments
Brightside86 31
I feel like a lot of people on this site somehow got marred without ever meeting the person before. Also a nasal spray and humidifier will pretty reliably clear any sinus blockage.
D J's MOM 17
does he work? hasn't anyone there said anything to him? maybe you could talk to one of his coworkers cuz, peer pressure.
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Comments (4)
Brightside86 31
I feel like a lot of people on this site somehow got marred without ever meeting the person before. Also a nasal spray and humidifier will pretty reliably clear any sinus blockage.
LmfaoTHATsucks 2
but that costs money...
D J's MOM 17
does he work? hasn't anyone there said anything to him? maybe you could talk to one of his coworkers cuz, peer pressure.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Judging from a FML this last week, that probably won't help.
LmfaoTHATsucks 2
I used to shower once a week in elementary school, now I shower every damn day. you really gonna deal with a man with the mindset of an elementary schooler?? all jokes aside spray that mf with febrezee until your voice is heard
faifai_fml 21
I really don't understand why women marry men like this.