Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML
Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
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Top comments
linnie_wesker 20
.... lock the door? I will never understand why people go to the bathroom, whether to shower or use the toilet, and don't lock the door. It's not that hard to figure out.
Garytt 0
Ask least it wasnt your dad
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Comments (145)
QuisMysterium 4
So you're complaining that your mother loves you? Seems legit.
linnie_wesker 20
.... lock the door? I will never understand why people go to the bathroom, whether to shower or use the toilet, and don't lock the door. It's not that hard to figure out.
n_epic_fail 14
Just thank god it was the alcohol and this isn't a regular occurrence...
Evarella 8
I ALWAYS lock the door ._. Can't image life without it(haha...)
blackheart24 10
There's nothing like a little bonding with your drunk mother in the shower :) And at least she was drunk and won't remember it in the morning. Hopefully.
QuisMysterium 4
Perhaps because some people aren't ashamed of their bodies?
Feklfekl2222 32
It is hard when the locks broken or non-existent
THE_A_TEEN 28
Hey genius, not all bathroom doors have locks. Honestly I don't understand why people don't understand any other possibilities before posting a comment...
FlyingWhisps 5
I would hope that the door had a lock, just in case. Wouldn't want any relatives waltzing in while you're doing your...business.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lucky bastard... Gets two "once-in-lifetime" hugs. :( Also 2: I leave the door unlocked when taking a shower do other people can use the pot. I trust nobody will violate me while I'm in the shower.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Oh my.... So other people*
Ray_of_midnight 23
Yeah, but if they flush, you'll scald yourself. :-(
linnie_wesker 20
#13 I'm not ashamed of my body, that still doesn't mean I want anyone in my family seeing me completely naked. If it was my boyfriend or a friend I wouldn't care, but my mom? Uh, awkward. #22 I guess passive aggressiveness is super cool too. I've lived & traveled all over the USA (where the OP posted from) and I've NEVER seen a place that didn't have locks on the bathroom doors. Also it's not that hard to put your own lock on a door, unless of course you enjoy people walking in on you showering or taking a shit or whatever else you get up to in the bathroom. But moar sarcastic comments, plz. i c u lurkin.
Muslimgal92 0
22, take a deep breath....then exhale!! Do this process again and again till you calm the **** down!
StoryOfTheYear 15
54- Refer to the second section of my first comment. Not everyone expects ANYONE to barge in to your own house, and go straight to the bathroom for family time.
KunoKanashimi 3
My bathroom doesn't have a lock. o.o Luckily the shower can be heard through the door/walls. >.>
bumblebee41 0
So you've gone to every house to see if they have a lock on their bathroom door? Cool story bro. Maybe it's the only bathroom in the house and she doesn't lock the door invade people need to use it also? My sister and I do that we share a bathroom. It's not uncommon to leave your door unlocked when taking a shower just saying.
bumblebee41 0
Oops meant incase*
HannahPaloozah 0
I leave my bathroom door open wen I use it or shower. My bathroom is part of my room though.
HannahPaloozah 0
My old house didn't have locks on the bathroom doors and the 1s on my bathroom doors now are pointless, you just have to put something flat in it and twist . Also my friends bathroom doesn't have locks either
counterfit 10
54, the El Tovar hotel at the Grand Canyon. At least not when I was there in 95, maybe they modernized a bit by now.
roseydot 0
My family isn't allowed to lock the bathroom doors because my sister has Epilepsy, and if the door was locked and she feel or hit her head, she could get seriousy injured. So yea not all people can lock their bathroom doors.
hayq 5
It does say she came home, I don't know about you guys, but when I am home alone, I don't feel the need to lock the bathroom door.
KindaFunnyRight 8
This guy i know locked the bathroom door when he was in the shower, fainted hit his head and they had to knock the door down
n_epic_fail 14
Cool stories bro.
itsame0987 18
54 - you do realize that your mom saw you naked all the time when you were a baby. She gave birth to you, changed your diapers, and bathed you. Not voting on this one, it's too funny and is now in my favorites.. Think of it this way op, you will have an epic story to tell in the future.
JohnBoyFsYL 10
I'm still curious why he was in the shower "still completely clothed".
remz89 3
I leave the bathroom door unlock when I use it, but that's also because I trust my family not coming in on me while using the bathroom. ( the knock policy before you enter is great).
iamyourgod 3
Because it is a waist if time especially in this situation where their mom wasnt home at the time. Also there's the odd chance that in one of those tub-showers that you fall and seriously hurt yourself; always nice to give someone the ability to get to your uncoinious body before the water fill up.
Falalala243 0
82- OP wasn't still clothed. It was Op's mother who was still in her clothes :)
grad2011 0
Well I know some bathrooms do not have locks on the door for safety reasons. I mean, what would happen if you fell and no one could bust the door down? I'd rather have someone barge in on me. And I doubt her drunk mom would have any memory of this..
ALDJ 4
Ever occur that alot of people's restrooms have no locks??
Characterise 0
exactly what 22 said not every fn bathroom door has a lock I have a 3 bathroom house and not one has a lock only coz 2 of them are sliding doors not open shut doors, well only my room with a ensuite has a lock on the main bedroom door
Pandaloverr 0
Huh ? FRIEND ? I hope you know your mother has seen your parts opened and closed okay Hun ?
owleyes98 0
*sigh*
MissMeButLetMeGo 0
Uhm, it's their own house. I don't lock my door in my own home. Now, if I was at someone else's house, that's a different story.
BluntsandBitches 0
Because not everybody is a paranoid tweaker
rillastyle 1
In your own home why should you have to (except if you have small kids)
eatpraylovee44 0
When I visit my aunt, she says we're not aloud to lock the doors in bathrooms because she's afraid if we fall they won't be able to reach us.
angelina_galvan 3
Ciel Phantomhive........nice pic anyways locking the door always a nice idea
sarahnicole1398 10
If doors don't have locks; I think that's why the door is shut, and people have voices. If someone opens the door they can just be like "Woah! I'm in here" Not that hard..
TheAspieDork 27
Well, if nobody's home when you go in there, you don't really think of that.
Garytt 0
Ask least it wasnt your dad
AngrehPirate 0
Or a brother
aceman1992 9
Just be glad it wasn't Sandusky, he too comes back for seconds. But with no clothes.
GrammarTrolls 0
*wasn't
blackheart24 10
Hahahahaha good comment 20. ****** child molesting ****. Oh I hope he gets some of his own medicine in jail...
bizarre_ftw 22
Shower time in jail!!!! :D
mstangchck 9
Awkward..
YUNOGUY 0
26 - You fix "wasn't" even though the real mistake is "ask" which should have been "as" ?
YUNOGUY 0
My auto correct is crazy.
flyingfox408 0
I agree. Incest is okay, as long as it isn't gay. Or at least not two guys. Am I right?
SystemofaBlink41 27
110- no. Just no.
FMLandurstoo 9
She's going Sandusky on your ass!
Marcella1016 32
Aww perfect time for a Herbert comment and you missed it! I did picture your comment in his voice though XD
FMLandurstoo 9
I could of but I wanted to honor my bro sandy. We were in the army back in '47. Mmmhmmmm right Jessie?
MagicallyFat 12
Being Arabic that never happens. I just get yelled at for every thing I do.
duhWINNING2_fml 9
*Herbert voice* "Haaay Hannaaah. Would you mind helping me clean off?"
pamdagonebad 2
"Hajalogando! Do not forget your RPG!" Something like that?
rillastyle 1
You ment sssssandussssky. Mmmm
lily777 0
she loves you :) be happy
boofgall 16
Yeah, she probably misses you. Don't feel awkward, even if the timing could've been better. :)
boofgall 16
Yeah, she probably misses you. Don't feel awkward, even if the timing could've been better. :)
EvilCupcake8361 9
hey, nothing wrong with naked hugs..
FlyingWhisps 5
These are one of those moments when you thank God she was not naked. I know I do when it happens to me
MrsPegg 45
How often does this happen to you?! I know naked hugs in the shower are pretty rare in my family.
FlyingWhisps 5
Well it doesn't happen THAT often, otherwise it would be weird.
MrsPegg 45
LOL... Your family sounds fun! ;)
THE_A_TEEN 28
This is why you must shower with an Uzi. Your mom only pretended to be drunk just to give you a wake-up call about the dangers of unwanted intrusions during a shower. Let this be a warning...
FlyingWhisps 5
Hey look! You didn't swear this time!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Oh yea, **** FUCKETY **** **** SHIT!!!!! :)
FlyingWhisps 5
There we go, the Earth's balance has been restored. Have a nice day. ^_^
bizarre_ftw 22
SHIT DAMN, **** A DAMN, **** A DAMN, DAMN!!! SOME ************ WENT AND STOLE MY MAN!!! NOW I GOT ANOTHER ******, BETTER LOVER THAN THE OTHER ******!! SHIT DAMN, **** A DAMN, **** A DAMN, DAMN!!!!!!!!! (repeat)
deviable 9
And ****.
redrat 5
Uzis suck use an mp5 or a s&w 500
mk58 31
41, I'm scared.
randomhangul 4
cornered naked in a shower?? your mom is a boss in the element of surprise.
tsim_fml 0
Sandusky?